Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
He huffed at my accusation, shaking his head. “It wasn’t about not trusting you. I didn’t want to burden you with the worry until I had a better handle on it. Besides, you’re one to talk about trust. What about trusting me with Darcy?”
My patience snapped, and all the ugly suspicions I had just spewed out before I could stop them. “You cannot believe her turning up to lunch today was a coincidence? That her being at your father’s event is a coincidence? That her calling you, of all people, while she was breaking things off with Matthias is a coincidence? She wants you back, Chris!” I ignored how furious his reaction made me—shaking his head like I was crazy. “And I think your father is helping facilitate a reunion.”
There. I said it.
A muscle ticked in Chris’s jaw as he glared at me. “You can’t possibly think that.”
Heart pounding, I felt him slip further and further away with each word, but I couldn’t stop them. “He came to my office and made it clear I wasn’t good enough for you. He threatened me. He’s tried to control your life before, so, no, I don’t think it’s impossible that he and Darcy are colluding to get you back. I know, despite your dad, that you didn’t grow up in that world. But I plan events for one-percenters all the time, and it is like nothing you can imagine. The social politics, the scheming. Everything is about making the right connections. Everything is a business. Even love. This is the kind of shit they pull. And if you’re with Darcy, you’re exactly where your father wants you. Ever since we got together though, you’ve been kind of a wild card for him.”
Chris took a step toward me, and I flinched at the hurt in his eyes. “You know . . . you know what it means to me that my father is trying to have a relationship with me. I don’t expect him to change overnight, but I believe he is trying.”
The tears came, and I couldn’t stop them this time. I looked away, swiping at my face with shaking hands as they fell quickly. Too many to catch.
Skirting past him, forcing down the sobs that wanted to rip out of me, I grabbed my purse and then shoved my feet into my heels.
“Where are you going?” he asked, sounding dejected.
Finally I met his gaze across the room. I’d known it all along.
It had been too good to be true.
“I can’t do this, Chris,” I choked out.
“Because of Darcy.” He stepped toward me looking desperate. “I told you, I was going to tell you about the lunch as soon as I saw you.”
“Maybe. But even though I get why you thought it best to keep the job offer from me, you were wrong. You should have shared that with me instead of making me feel like something else was going on. And the weirdness, the distance between us, made me so insecure, which I hate! Now I tell you I have a problem with Darcy and with your father, and you’re not willing to hear it. Which says to me that my feelings don’t matter—”
“That’s not true.”
“But it feels true. And I’ve just gotten out of that place with my parents. Caught in the middle, unsteady, uncertain, and trying to make everyone else feel okay and no one giving a shit if I do.”
“I give a shit.”
A sob broke free before I could stop it. “It doesn’t feel like it, and that’s what matters. And this isn’t something I feel because of a text from Darcy. It’s been there in the background for weeks. Uncertainty. Insecurity. I think if I felt like I really had you I wouldn’t feel this way. And I think I feel this way because you don’t know what you really want. I deserve better than that.”
“You’re ending this?” Chris staggered back like I’d physically hit him.
I stuffed down another sob. “I . . . No . . . I just think we need some time apart. A break. We moved too fast. Practically living together. Got caught up in the attraction. But I won’t be my parents. Passion isn’t enough to build a life on.”
“That’s all you think we have?”
I gestured wearily at the distance between us. “I don’t know. Maybe some time away from each other will answer that.” I wrenched open his apartment door.
“Hallie . . .”
I glanced over my shoulder at him.
Chris stared incredulously. “I don’t want to take a break. A break is just code for ‘It’s over but we can’t admit it.’ I love you. I don’t want it to be over.”
Clinging to his “I love you,” walking back in there, hoping everything would just resolve itself, would hurt more than accepting this was what we needed right now. I’d spent my whole life hoping. Hoping for my parents to stop fighting. Hoping for my friends and boyfriends to see me as something more than an anecdote they told at a party.