Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 64929 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64929 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
That was a pathetic response too. I just didn’t know what to say to him. Thanks for offering to help me be a pup, but I think I’m good… Yeah, that sounded weird too. “C’mon,” Owen coaxed, taking a cookie from the package and breaking it in two. “You’ve had a long day. Just relax and let me take care of you.” He quirked a brow, his expression somewhere between a challenge and… What? Interest?
“That’s what the master online says.” Realizing it didn’t make sense after it came out, I kept going. “I found a blog in my… research. It’s a master and his pup, a guy who’s his puppy. Like… roleplaying. The master says things like that.”
That made sense, right? I couldn’t tell from Owen’s face. I knew he didn’t like me talking about the research, but I had to explain. He nodded to the spot beside him on the kitchen floor. “It doesn’t always have to be sexual,” he remarked. “Sometimes it is, but not always. People think BDSM has to be about whips and chains, but it’s more than that.”
My mouth fell open.
I’d read similar words on a variety of sites, but they hadn’t made sense. The professor had even talked about giving up control, and submission, but everything I could think of with BDSM was rough, scary things.
It was why the puppy play was appealing. It felt safer and less overwhelming. It was weird, but no one was yelling at the pups or telling them they were stupid or not good enough. They got told they were beautiful and special and got to be cuddled.
“How do you know that?” That wasn’t what I’d meant to say. I wasn’t supposed to talk about his personal life. Would he think I was insulting him again? “I’m sorry, it’s not my business.”
“Because I haven’t been living in a bubble,” Owen replied dryly. “Are you going to be a good boy and obey, or should I start cleaning up now?” If those were my options, hiding under the bed sounded safer. He was talking to me, and even though I wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, it was better than being ignored. But could I kneel on the floor? What would he say after it was over?
“For research?” I should have left the room. He could just be mad at me. “You’re not going to… laugh at me? I need a good grade in the class.”
“No.” For some reason, I believed him, even though I had no idea why. We’d just gotten into an argument. My little brother was acting like he hated me, but he seemed dead serious about this. It didn’t make any sense. “Why?”
Owen shrugged. “You tell me why you’re so interested in puppy play — and don’t fucking say research, because research doesn’t get your cock that hard — and I’ll tell you.”
I wasn’t sure I had an explanation. “The professor said to look at some of the different fetishes and topics we’d covered in class and then to browse online until we found something intriguing. I… I did what she said, and I stopped when I found something…” Safe, kind, loving, beautiful. “That wasn’t overwhelming. The puppies were happy, and the masters were nice.”
I wasn’t sure I could explain anything else. I also wasn’t sure if trying to was a good idea. Giving him more ammunition against me didn’t seem like it would be in my best interest. I was probably going to be constantly reminded about how weird I was for months or years if he spoke to me that long, so making myself a bigger target was stupid.
“I liked that it was nice.” I was pathetic.
“Because you don’t ever relax,” Owen replied slowly, leaning back in his chair. “You’re so afraid of letting go that you’re twisting yourself in knots.”
That wasn’t what I’d been expecting to hear. I’d thought he’d mock me or laugh, but those words threw me.
“I’ve tested the waters a few times,” he went on when I didn’t. “But…” He trailed off. I wasn’t sure what he was hinting about. He’d tried BDSM? I had a hard time picturing him in those situations. The doms I’d seen were all confident and in charge… And well, that was Owen, but there had also been this underlying layer of… concern and compassion — at least with the nice ones, the doms and masters that looked more like real people.
Like the puppy’s master. “As… like a… as a Dominant?” Warning lights were flashing, but pulling back seemed impossible. I was asking too many questions. At some point, he was going to get angry with me, but it just… I couldn’t leave it alone.
“Both,” Owen said. “We’re about to cross into TMI territory, big brother,” he said, but a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.