Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 149606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 748(@200wpm)___ 598(@250wpm)___ 499(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 748(@200wpm)___ 598(@250wpm)___ 499(@300wpm)
“Okay.” The wind blows her blonde hair across her face, and I gently comb it back with my fingers so I can see her eyes. I make a mental note to remind her to make an appointment with the doctor this week to find out why she’s getting headaches.
“We’re really gonna do this?” I grin. “It’s a big jump.”
It’s huge. It’s crazy. But it also feels right.
“It’s what I want, Ash.” The gold flecks in her eyes dance under the sun, mesmerizing me. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I know it’ll be hard. I know it’s a sacrifice for both of us. But it’s really what I want.”
“I’ve been thinking about it too. I don’t know why I’ve been afraid to admit it or talk about it. I think I was afraid you’d be disappointed in me. Think I was a quitter or a failure.”
“Never. Changing your life to be happy doesn’t make you a failure, hon. Because of how you grew up, you think you have to be the rock star. You think you have to take care of everyone. It’s all you know. But ya know what? You are a star. You always will be. It doesn’t have to be all you are, though. It’s okay to step back. Enjoy everything you’ve worked for.”
All true. What’s the point of working my ass off if I can’t ever be in my own house? Or spend quality time with my wife and my daughter? See my family more? Sleep? I watched my parents go through this, and it almost tore them apart.
They stepped back. Re-prioritized. Made major changes. It saved their marriage and their family. They’ve never been happier.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to risk my marriage or let us continue to be unhappy and lonely.
She moves her lips across my hand to kiss my gunmetal wedding band. Her eyes close for a few moments, then slowly open. “How do you feel about having another baby? Before I get too old?”
Smiling, I touch her chin and lift her face up to mine. “You’re not even twenty-nine yet, silly.”
“I know, but—”
I hush her with a long kiss. “I want a baby,” I whisper.
“You’re sure?”
“I’m positive.”
“I’m not giving you an ultimatum, Ash. I want to be with you no matter what. Even if things stay the way they are. Even if we don’t have another baby. I haven’t been happy lately, but I’ll learn to find new ways to be happy if our lives stay this way. So you can keep going full force with your career, if that’s what you truly want. I’ll never talk about being unhappy again. I’ll be your biggest cheerleader. Always. I love you enough to do that.”
She means every word. She’d give up the new life she’s dreaming of to let me throw myself into my career. She’d wait—right by my side—until I’m ready to take a step back. She wouldn’t resent me or hold it against me because she’s not like that. She’d absorb my happiness.
That’s what love is.
That’s how I know I’m making the right decision. Nothing is more important than our happiness and our future together.
“I know, baby. I love you so fuckin’ much for loving me like you do. Right now, I feel happier than I have in a real long time.” She smiles, and the worry visibly lifts from her eyes. “We grew up so fast, Em. Had crazy success so fast. I’ll be thirty soon, but I feel like I’ve been living for sixty years already. I don’t need more fame or money. I do need more of you, though.”
She smiles and tightens her hold on me. “You’re sure? You don’t have to decide today.”
“I think I decided a while ago, Em. I just didn’t know how to admit it.”
“Are we crazy for doing this? Walking away from success? Do we need our heads examined?”
I lift my shoulder in a shrug. “Probably. I don’t even care, babe. When have we ever done anything normal?”
Laughing, she leans up to kiss me. “I love you and our abnormal ways.”
I keep my arms around her, not letting her pull back from the kiss. “We’ll figure everything out, baby. I promise.” Capturing her lips with mine, I slide my hands under the fabric of her shirt to caress her lower back.
The sun has made her skin deliciously soft and warm. Her lips part, and she moans softly when I suck her lower lip between mine. I drag my fingertips up to her chest, skimming over the lace cup of her bra. Perfect nipples harden against my palms.
“We should get pregnant here,” I whisper against her lips.
She inhales a quick breath. “I’d love that, but I’m still on the pill.”
“Stop taking it.”
“I’ll flush them as soon as we get home.”