Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 34442 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 172(@200wpm)___ 138(@250wpm)___ 115(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34442 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 172(@200wpm)___ 138(@250wpm)___ 115(@300wpm)
But that thought started to become a theme when I continued to look around the room and found not one, not two, not even three, but seven other couples involved in the same passionate display of PDA.
And then, when I moved my gaze to the far corner of the ballroom, where a sitting area of couches and chairs was located, alarm bells sounded in my head. Two women and two men went at one another ravenously, bouncing back and forth between partners with the kind of cozy familiarity I’d never had with any of my friends.
And by cozy, I mean I just saw tits.
Tits out in the open, getting a good old-fashioned tongue-lashing world tour.
Georgia said the lady from the bar had said this party was fun, but I don’t recall her mentioning that Pornhub was sponsoring it…
Immediately, I looked toward the bathrooms and watched as Georgia stepped back into the ballroom, but she only made it halfway toward the bar before she was stopped by a male and female in purple masks. She smiled, and by her reaction to their presence, I had a feeling the woman was Paula from the bar.
“Here are your drinks, sir.”
I turned around to find the scotch and wine sitting on the bar and the bartender smiling toward me. The niggling voice in the back of my head said I should leave them there and run, but not wanting to be unnecessarily judgmental, I forced myself to pump the brakes until I had a little bit more information.
“Thank you,” I said and tossed a few bills into his tip jar.
“Appreciate it, sir. Enjoy the pleasurable festivities.”
Pleasurable festivities? Okay. The way he said it made me feel exactly like I had when our driver Nico said like-minded couples. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger.
“What kind of ball is this, exactly?”
The bartender looked at me, eyes slightly confused. “What do you mean, sir?”
I ground my jaw, not wanting to have to try to explain this shit aloud, and he seemingly caught on enough to give me an answer without it.
“Uh…” The bartender paused and leaned over the bar to get a little closer to me. “If you’re wondering when partners are supposed to be selected, I’m pretty sure we were told that most couples will be heading toward the rooms upstairs around ten or so.”
“Heading to the rooms upstairs?” I questioned. “What rooms?”
“You know, the rooms,” he said, finally breaking into a kind smile. “Let me guess, this is your first time to a swingers event?”
Oh. Holy. Fucking. Shit.
“Kline!” A harsh whisper filled my ears, and I turned away from the bartender to see my wife standing there with huge, wide eyes. “I just saw two penises,” she continued, keeping her voice low, but unable to hide the shock from it. “And I can’t be sure, but I think Paula wants me to sleep with her husband!”
“Baby—” I started to say, but Georgia was too worked up as she glanced around the room, paranoia in her eyes.
“Oh my God!” she quietly exclaimed and buried her face into my chest. “Make that three penises! Why are there penises, Kline? And not a single one of them even has a mask on!”
“Baby—” I attempted again, but man, she was fired up.
“What is wrong with people?” she questioned more to herself than me. “Why does it feel like there are more dicks than people at this ball, and why on earth would Paula want me to sleep with her husband?”
“It’s a swingers party, Benny,” I said, finally getting a word in.
“What?”
“Swingers, baby. As in, people who bang one another’s spouses.”
“No, it’s not,” she whispered, horrified.
“Oh, but it is.”
Georgia just stood there, staring at me and gulping like a beached fish.
I couldn’t really blame her, though. I mean, this was completely unexpected and uncharted territory for a woman who’d kept her virginhood as long as she had, and all of it was happening on the heels of a day when she ended up feeding half her breakfast to two vest-wearing, maraca-shaking, begging monkeys.
The human mind could only take so much crazy before it started to shut the fuck down.
When I glanced over my shoulder and spotted a man in a neon-yellow banana hammock and a woman attempting to make said banana get hard with her hand, I made an instant executive decision—we had to go, and we had to go right fucking now.
No time to waste, I leaned down and tossed my wife over my shoulder like a fucking fireman and strode right toward the exit doors of the villa without looking back.
“Kline!” Georgia squealed, finally finding her voice. “What are you doing?”
“Baby, this is some crazy Eyes Wide Shut kind of shit, and I’m getting us out of here before a damn orgy begins.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” she agreed, accepting the circumstances for what they were with a sigh.