Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87766 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87766 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“I mean to feel nothing towards your own child! I was the worst Dad in the world,” he sighs. “I’d barely go home, and when I did, it was horrible. I was stuck in a life I didn’t want, because I made a mistake and got married in order to satisfy my parents. And then I was in a marriage I couldn’t get out of, because now there was a child involved. Who I tried desperately to want and connect with but I couldn’t.”
“But you can’t get upset over that! You only felt nothing towards the child, not because you were a bad Dad, but because you sensed he wasn’t yours. You said that deep down you questioned it! I know you will be an amazing Dad one day. Stop punishing yourself.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “If anything positive has come out of this experience it’s that at least I know now that I never want kids,” he laughs. “You know, it was the pool guy’s?”
“Really?” I can’t help my shocked expression. “That’s like something you read about in a book, or see on one of those terrible soaps.”
“I met him one afternoon. He looked exactly like him. There was no mistaking it.”
“Wow,” I whisper.
“She tried to deny it at first, until she realized she was finally caught.”
I shake my head slowly.
“After that I wanted to call you more than anything, even just to tell you what happened, but I know I couldn’t do that to you. Not after being so happy and proud of what you were doing and where you were going. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but you were young. I mean, 18, Luci, do you realize that?”
“I know,” I nod.
“So school started again, the paternity test came back, and my lawyers pushed the divorce through. It got ugly. That’s what took so long,” he sighs. “There were prenups, and this new guy - the pool guy,” he swallows. “She didn’t want anything to do with him because he doesn’t have the status I do. Those were her words. Money and family politics - the whole thing was a disaster.”
“So that’s why you always did everything against your parents. You didn’t want their money, because it was-”
“Dirty,” he finishes. “Holly and I got married to merge companies, not people. That’s why I wanted to get out. That’s why I chose a different path. Still, my parents went about everything in the simplest ways. They made everything sound so grand. I do believe they were trying to mostly look out for me, with a side of their own interests of course.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he stops me.
“You know, you got me through it,” he smiles my way as we reach the ties section.
“How?”
“Gracie promised that as long as I never contacted you, she would let me in on how you were doing,” he chuckles. “Again, I promise it wasn’t as creepy as it sounds now. God, this all makes me sound like a complete psycho, huh?”
I roll my eyes and nod.
“So that’s how you knew what I’ve been up to and where I’ve been.”
“Yes,” he confirms. “The divorce went through about a year ago, and Gracie finally gave me your number. Probably about a week before I saw you at school. I think I finally got in her good graces, which clearly took years.”
I giggle. That sounds like Gracie.
“I didn’t know what I was going to say when I called you,” he smiles. “But I knew I was going to that weekend, but then I didn’t have to, because I ran into you. You’re hard to forget Luci Cunningham.”
I smile, just as he turns away and starts browsing tables full of ties. I can’t help but watch him, admiring everything I’ve ever liked about him.
“Earth to Luci,” he laughs, and I snap out of my daze. “Were you actually gawking?”
“No,” I roll my eyes, playing off the fact that I was practically panting in the middle of the store.
“You were,” he winks. “I know that look well.”
“Whatever,” I huff. “I should get going anyway.”
“Please don’t,” he begs, walking over. “Which do you think?” He holds up two ties and I bite my lip, debating.
“The blue for sure,” I decide almost immediately. “It brings out your-” I stop myself from saying his eyes. “The blue one.”
He discards the other tie, and picks up a bunch of additional ones that have a similar blue color as the one I choose.
“Thanks for listening.” I catch a small smile out of the corner of my eye. “You didn’t jump down my throat like you usually do, and I appreciate it.”
“Thanks?” I hesitate.
“God, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am,” he stops walking, turning me around. “I always think that if I never called her up again when I first met you that none of this would have happened. Her and I would have been well on our way to being divorced,” he shakes his head, and I don’t say anything. “I was so taken aback by my feelings for you, and felt so sick about it, that I tried to distract myself. Only,” he chuckles, meeting my eye. “That didn’t work.”