Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 131486 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 526(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131486 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 526(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
“Mom!” Deja calls from inside.
“Oh, shit.” Josiah pulls out, scrambles off me and through the back door of the car.
I’m not far behind, sliding my bare butt across the cool leather seats and searching the garage floor for my underwear.
“Crap,” I groan. “If Deja sees us…”
“Or her friends.” He zips up and belts his pants hastily. “She’ll kill us.”
Her footsteps pound down the stairs, coming closer. My nipples are still hard, poking shamelessly against the bodice of my dress. I feel a slight burn on my neck where Josiah’s stubble scraped the sensitive skin. His cum is leaking down my leg. I’m a mess. Not just the scramble to hide what we’ve been doing, but inside. Blood is singing through my veins and I’m floating. I’m unraveled by the fact that it happened at all.
He pulls me against him for a quick kiss, taking a precious second to look at me, his eyes going gentler even in our race to set our clothes to rights. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
I want to tell him I don’t care if Deja catches us and pull him to me again, crawl in the back seat to cuddle and relish his bare skin against mine. But I do care. It’s not just us. It’s our kids and their expectations. The changes they’ve been through. Whatever is happening between Si and me, we have to navigate it carefully for their sakes.
He has barely escaped when Deja jerks the kitchen door open and pokes her head in.
“Day,” I say, super casually opening the car door. “What’s up?”
“I was calling you.” She glances around the empty garage. “What are you doing out here?”
“Just looking for something I left in the car.” I fumble around in the center console, pretending to search for said imaginary item. “You need me?”
She presses her hands together beneath her chin. “Can we please go to the movies?”
“It’s your birthday. Whatever you want.”
“Yes.” She turns to go back into the house, but slowly faces me. “Oh, and thank you again for the cake. It was perfect. Everything was.”
My heart warms, and I’m so glad she didn’t walk in on us a few minutes before. I have no idea how Deja would respond to what’s happening between Josiah and me. I don’t even know what it is yet, but I know I want it. I want whatever we can have, but I also want to restore the tattered relationship with my daughter.
“Good. I’m glad, baby. Happy birthday,” I say, smiling. “You guys get ready and I’ll drive you to the movies.”
Once the door closes behind her, I slump against the truck. That was a close call. But also…oh, my God. That was so damn hot. If he were still here, I’d fuck him again. I’d do anything to chase the high of our bodies together, the drugging emotion in his eyes when he looked at me. The way my heart strained to get to him.
When I walk into the kitchen, my phone vibrates on the counter with a text message.
Josiah: All clear?
Me: Barely. You were just through the door when Deja came in.
Josiah: That was amazing.
Me: Agreed.
I bite my lip, thumbs poised over the keys, hesitant about my next words.
Screw it.
Me: Can we do it again?
Josiah: I want to, but we need to talk.
Me: Okay.
Josiah: Oh, and by the way…I got your panties. ☺
Chapter Thirty-Five
Josiah
Thanks for seeing me on such short notice,” I tell Dr. Musa. “And so early.”
“You said it was urgent.” He eyes me walking back and forth in front of his desk. “You should sit.”
I force myself to take the seat across from him, even though my body hums with pent-up energy. I should not be energetic since I barely slept last night. What the hell was I thinking? Fucking Yasmen in the garage like some horny teenager? With Deja’s friends upstairs? Fucking Yasmen period. Who better to tell me I’ve lost my mind than my shrink?
“I slept with my ex.” The bald words barrel out of me. “Twice.”
“Okay.” Dr. Musa adjusts his glasses, his professional demeanor unshaken. “Before we go there, let’s—”
“Naaaaaaaaw, Doc. We need to go straight there. I don’t need no deep breaths. No affirmations. And I for damn sure don’t need that feelings wheel. I know exactly how I feel.”
“Then tell me how you feel.”
“Like an idiot.”
“That’s not a feeling.”
“Dammit. Gimme the wheel.”
Lips pressed and holding back a smile, he hands me the sheet of paper with the bright colors and emotions listed on it. I look at them, struggling to find myself in the sea of words swimming on the page in front of me.
“Uh, I guess I feel confused.” I study the circle further. “Anxious. Sensuous. Definitely sensuous, that shit was…”
I clear my throat and frown at the words leaping out at me.
Excited.
Hopeful.
Scared.
I can’t bring myself to say those out loud, not even to Dr. Musa, but by the way he watches me, he probably already knows.