Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 123190 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123190 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
It’s a wonder to me that a male as good as Misha hasn’t yet found romantic love. Even if it wasn’t part of his marriage, I’m surprised he never found it with a lover outside the bounds of that political arrangement, surprised that he, like the kings before him, didn’t have a lover waiting in the wings to step into the role of queen.
“What you feel when she speaks of her family—at first I thought it was jealousy,” I say, “but it’s not. You envy her. Her marriage, her child. You want a family, and while you think Blake deserves every moment with the family she built, she is a reminder of how much easier those things might’ve come to you without the burden of this crown—because no matter how much you try to hold hope for the future, no matter how brave you try to be, part of you will always remember the marriage your parents had and think that you are doomed to the same.”
His face goes stoic and his throat bobs, but he holds my gaze. “You were in my mind? I didn’t feel you . . .”
“No. Like I said—it becomes clear to me in the connection you have with someone else. I can’t read thoughts.”
“So even when someone is well shielded, you’re saying that they can be exposed.”
I’ve said too much. I’ve revealed too much. I shrug. “I don’t know. Like I said, maybe it’s not magic at all. Maybe it’s just feeling out a room and using common sense.”
“You don’t believe that,” he says softly. “You might wish you could, but you don’t.”
I tear my eyes from his and look at my hands.
“It’s not so terrible,” he says. “This life. Being fae and having magic. You haven’t allowed yourself to see the good in it. I hope you’ll allow me to show you.”
In my periphery, I see him reach for me and drop his hand at the last second.
He stands, as if he is suddenly anxious to get away from me, from this conversation. “I’m sure Amira would still be happy to meet with you if you’d like. She’ll be able to help you hone this gift.”
“I’m not interested.”
He’s already walking away. “You might change your mind.”
Chapter Fourteen
Felicity
THE RIDE THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS is incredible. I’ve lived in the shadow court since arriving in Faerie three years ago, and it is breathtaking, but the Wild Fae territory boasts a different kind of beauty. These people speak of nature as the Mother, speak of her as their deity, and it’s as if nature blooms up around them to reward them for that devotion. Even as the leaves slip into their autumnal colors, the trees appear lush and full of life. Mums and late-blooming hydrangeas line the roadside as if every inch of the land here is groomed by an expert gardener.
Misha and I ride side by side, two of his sentinels following behind—not too close, but near enough to protect their king should someone use this as an opportunity to attack.
Misha’s quiet on the ride. None of that flirtatious poking at me like he was doing before training or in my chambers this morning. I think I got to him when I revealed what I felt between him and Blake. I don’t get the impression it’s that he doesn’t want me to know how he feels about the subject. Instead, I think it’s those words he spoke later that have made him withdraw.
I hope you’ll allow me to show you.
I could’ve written them off as the words of a male trying to help his best friend’s sister. Or even as the courtesy of a kind host. But there was something about the way he reached for me after. Something about the way he retreated when he seemed to realize what he was doing.
I feel a pull toward Misha that I cannot deny—a pull I don’t think has anything to do with the shadow princess. As much as I want to flatter myself by thinking he feels the same, any such whimsy must be tempered by reality. I am not Felicity right now. I am the king’s best friend’s little sister. I am the shadow princess. I am Jasalyn to him—both beautiful and an advantageous political match.
If Misha did happen to feel something for whatever bits of me have emerged in the last couple of days, there would be no way for him to disentangle those feelings from what he feels or felt for the real Jasalyn. And the truth is not something I have the luxury to share. It would ruin everything.
If the king does harbor feelings for me—for her—I need to use those feelings to my advantage. Hale’s plan seemed ridiculous to me. Misha wouldn’t share the location of the Hall of Doors with just any female he has feelings for . . . but perhaps if that female is the shadow queen’s sister, perhaps if she’s already so close to his inner circle, he might.