Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 98418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
I rev the engine of the big car and gun it out of the garage just in time to see Theo burst into the garage. He's shouting something and his face is strained, but I can't even bring myself to look at him. I floor it down the road and away from him, my heart is literally shattering in my chest. I want to cry, but I will not. I haven't cried for anyone and I'm not about to for him, though I know that he has just broken me beyond repair. He's damaged me more than the man who attacked me, more than my step father’s abuse even, more than my good for nothing mother, because I gave myself to him willingly, I love him and he fucking pissed on it. I can't believe I'm such an idiot. After everything we've been through, I really thought he'd changed for me. Stupid Naive little Lilly of course he didn't. He's Theodore Ellis you stupid bitch. What the hell did you expect?! I park the car in the underground garage around the corner from our flat.
As soon as I get into the flat I pour a glass of vodka; that being the only hard liquor to hand. My hands shake as I lift the glass to my lips. How could I be so stupid?!
The door buzzer goes off and I jump, dropping my glass. It smashes against the counter and slashes my hand as I scramble to catch it. I grab a towel and wrap it around my bleeding palm before answering it. It's Theo of course.
"Lilly, please give me five minutes." He begs.
"I don't want to talk to you. I can't even look at you right now." I say coldly.
"I'll wait here all night if I have to. Please buzz me up."
I know him, he won't give up. I sigh and lean my head against the wall. Best to just get this over with now I suppose. "I'll come down. You have two minutes and then you leave and you don't come back."
"Okay." He whispers.
I step out the front door and Theo scowls at me. "What happened?" He grabs my injured hand and I notice that the towel has soaked through with blood.
I snatch my hand back. "I'm fine. Say what you have to say so you can leave."
"That's a lot of blood, it needs stitches." He growls at me.
"Not the fucking time to play the concerned Ex-boyfriend role!" I scream.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He shouts. He turns and slams his palm against the roof of the Aston. It must be bad if he's threatening the car. He drags his hand through his hair. "I love you Lilly. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. Please don't let her ruin what we have."
"What we have?! We are done Theo." I scream. "We were fucking done the minute you stuck your dick in that slut."
"Let me explain. Please." He begs.
"No. Leave." I grit my teeth.
"Lilly, please don't shut me out like this." He whispers.
"You shut yourself out Theo. Why are you even here, pretending you give a fuck?" I bite venomously.
"No-one is more important than you Lilly. I would go to the ends of the earth for you...even if you don't want me anymore." His voice trails off.
"The mother of your child should be more important Theo." I snap. "You need to leave me alone. You're only prolonging the agony on both our parts."
"Lilly, you need to understand. I did sleep with her, but it wasn't when we were together."
"When?!" I snap out.
He cringes. "That night at Poison." My mind goes back, I remember how bad he looked. His face drawn and haggard. He was so drunk that I had to defend him.
"You fucked her the same night you told me you loved me!?" I clutch at my chest as it aches painfully. I feel like everything we had is now based on a lie. I shake my head. "Oh god, I can't do this. Leave now.”
“I love you so much Lilly, please don’t do this.” He pleads.
“You did this.” I say, my voice breaking. For once I didn’t self-destruct this time. He was the one who destroyed this.
“I’m sorry.” His face crumples.
“Sorry doesn't change anything. She's pregnant Theo. You should be with her." I feel my eyes well up and a tear streaks down my face, I rub it away quickly, hoping he hasn't seen it, but another quickly follows. The tight leash I usually keep on my emotions snaps. The weight of the last week presses down on me. The gravity of the fact that I'm telling the man I love to go and be with someone else hits me. If I thought I was broken before I’m now utterly shattered, ground to a fine powder that can never be fixed.
"I don't want her Lilly. I'll help her, but I don't want her. It wouldn't be fair to her or anyone for that matter when my heart is so undeniably yours. It always will be." The emotion is thick in his voice. "I'm so sorry. I was heartbroken. I loved you even then and you just walked out like I was nothing. I was in a bad place. I went to the club that night and drank so much I could barely stand. Somewhere along the line I thought she was you. Fuck." He drags his hands through his hair as I finally bring my gaze to meet his.