Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 101163 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101163 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
“Never?”
Lilly leans against the door and shakes her head. “Not having a mom, Aiden getting sick, having a dad who might or might not be awake to open the deli… there just wasn’t time for me to develop relationships. Not long-term ones anyway.”
I lean my elbow on the railing of the small landing and tuck my other hand in my pocket. “Not even like a best girlfriend who was by your side? An understanding boyfriend?”
“There were those who I thought were a best friend or an understanding boyfriend over the years. But you can only cancel plans so many times before people give up on you. I had nothing of value to give.”
My chest aches for Lilly. She gave so much to her family that she had nothing left to give anyone else. All relationships need nurturing and I understand what she’s saying. She couldn’t give more of herself to make it worthwhile for other people to stick with her.
It makes me curious enough to ask. “The deli… are you running that because you want to or because you have to?”
“I love that deli.” Her expression is apologetic. “I do. But it’s not my dream.”
“And what is your dream? What would you do if you didn’t have to take care of the deli?”
“College,” she replies without hesitation. “I’m not sure exactly what I want to do, but I want the opportunity to be exposed to things I can’t experience stuck on this block or in the hospital. I suppose that sounds selfish.”
I can’t help myself. My hand comes out of my pocket and takes hers. “Not selfish at all to want to fulfill a dream. And you’ll be able to. Aiden’s transplant is working, your dad is going to get sober… you’re about two seconds away from getting to reach for the stars.”
Lilly looks at me with hope in her eyes. “You make me almost believe that.”
“Let’s not hypothesize,” I say, moving down two steps and taking a seat on the landing. I pat the area next to me. “I know it’s late, but sit and let’s figure out something.”
Lilly plops beside me, laughing. “Figure out what?”
“The top five things you would do tomorrow if Aiden were cancer-free and your dad was sober.”
“Wow,” Lilly says, crossing her arms on her legs and tipping her head back to look at the sky. A plume of frosty air blows from her mouth—I forgot how chilly it is tonight. I shrug out of my wool pea coat and drape it over her shoulders. She glances at me and smiles shyly. “Thanks.”
“Okay… five things,” I say, getting her back on track. “Doesn’t have to be in order of importance. And… go.”
“Enroll in college,” she says.
“That’s one. What’s next?”
She smiles slyly. “Take Aiden to a hockey game.”
“I can assist with that,” I reply haughtily. “I told you… owner’s box tickets.”
“I’d like to own my own house one day. Doesn’t have to be big, but I want something with a yard because I want a dog. A small one that’s got long fur and will be happy to sit on my lap while I watch TV and who will yap at anything that makes a sound.”
The dream is so vivid and ridiculous, I can’t help but laugh. “That’s three.”
“I’d like to go on a vacation.” Lilly sighs with fatigue. “I’m tired and I’d like to take a week to relax and read books and eat junk food.”
“Where would you go?” I ask.
“I have no clue.” She laughs. “I’ve never been anywhere. I’d probably be happy with a hotel downtown that has room service and just have time for myself.”
That’s a sadly pathetic dream for a vacation, not because she can’t think of something more exciting, but because that’s good enough based on what she’s had in life so far.
“That’s four. One more to round out your dream list.”
Lilly’s head tips back again and her face screws up in concentration. Finally, she says, “I think I’d like to find my Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. Oh, and a Mr. Big too.”
“I have no clue what that is,” I say.
She turns her head to grin at me. “You’ve never seen Sex and the City I take it.”
“I’ve heard of it, but no… never seen it.”
“Well, it was about this group of girlfriends and they could talk to each other about anything, and they were all so beautiful and had amazing lives. I’d like to have a group of girls like that.”
She had a taste of that tonight with Kiera, Danica, Stevie and Tillie. I could see how much she loved talking to them.
“I’m a little afraid to ask what a Mr. Big is.”
Lilly snorts. “It’s not what it sounds like. He was like Carrie’s soul mate.”
And my curiosity is piqued once more. “Have you ever had a serious relationship?”