Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
I…didn't think of it that way.
And now I feel stupid. All the stressing I've been doing, all the worry that I'm the mutant with the too-small snatch that can't handle alien cock and of course it can. "Oh…"
She pats my shoulder again. "If it hurt or it wasn't pleasant, there are ways to go around things. You can do lots of foreplay until you're absolutely dripping. You can use lube if that doesn't happen for you. You can put a pillow under your hips, or you can try different positions. But do you know what the common denominator is here?"
"Fluid?" I joke, feeling flushed and silly and more than a little stupid.
"Try 'communication,'" Raven says flatly. "If you don't tell him what he's doing wrong, how's he ever going to know how to please you?"
I lick my lips. Try to think of something to say. Instead, I just clam up. "I…I'm sorry?"
She huffs out a laugh. "Don't apologize to me, girlfriend. I'm not the one you're leaping into bed with. And before you think I'm blaming you—I'm not. It takes two to tango. He needs to stop and ask his partner what she likes. And you need to learn to speak up." Her face brightens. "But I think I know just what you need."
"You do?" I swear to god, I'm going to die if she comes back with the ice planet version of a dildo so I can learn how to pleasure myself. I will just sink right through the floorboards of this hut and melt into the sand.
"Yep. Wait right here, okay?" She pats my arm. "Stay on your back and keep breathing. I'll be right back." Raven ducks out of the hut and her feet crunch on the sands as she walks away.
I try to think of what it is she's off to go get. A prop of some kind, I'm convinced. Some sort of sex toy or a native lubricant or something. Which just makes this all the more embarrassing. I've never thought of myself as a prude before. I've had sex before I arrived here. Maybe not in great quantity, but enough to know that sex could feel good and be fun and…
…and yet I'm the dumbass that's been wandering around for weeks thinking my vagina's the size of a coin purse instead of a handbag. I put a hand to my forehead. Definitely not one of my better moments. Of course my body can accommodate a larger dick. It can carry an ice-planet sized baby, after all. Liz has had three of them, Harlow two, and Veronica had an enormous dragon-baby in three damn months…and not a single person has complained about their mate having an enormous appendage. If anything, everyone jokes about the sex being too good.
Yeah, what a problem. Gee, poor things.
Now I feel like an idiot for blurting out all my problems to Raven. She didn't laugh at me, but I still feel like the world's biggest loser. In her eyes, all I have to do is sit down with A'tam and have a rational conversation with him about how he should use his dick on me. She doesn't realize how hard it is for me to speak up at all. Asking for help is bad enough as it is. Asking for help in bed? I might as well give up on that idea, because I know I'll never be able to utter the words. My mother's polluted my mind too much.
Just tell him how to touch me. She might as well tell me to jump off a cliff, because the odds of both happening are about the same. I don't think I've ever spoken up in bed. I just always hoped my partner would know enough to get me off, and if he didn't…well, the relationship usually ended pretty quick.
I know myself pretty well. I know I can make a decent trap, I can catch a fish, I can work all night on a damn pot and not be defeated if it breaks, I can joke and tease with the best of them…but I also know I can't speak up in bed. It feels like asking for a favor and pointing out that the other person is doing something wrong, and that just goes against everything that I am. Everything that my mother taught me to be.
I'm the problem.
The door to the hut opens again and I sit up in surprise as Raven and Steph enter. I give Steph an uneasy look, my skin prickling. Did Raven tell her my problems? What—
"Before you freak out," Raven says, "I brought Steph but I haven't told her anything. But I'm confident she knows exactly what you need."
"She…does?" My voice squeaks with alarm.
"Yeah," Raven says. "You need therapy. Couples therapy."
23
A'TAM
I cannot stop thinking about Shail's words of advice. That I have been unfair to B'shit in pretending a flirtation with D'see. That I have done this deliberately to hurt her and to make her question how she feels. That I would not like it if the situation were reversed and B'shit was with another male simply to snub me.