Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 112736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
With each body-rocking thrust, I get to taste his anger, his hunger…
His pain.
And it calls to all the dark, fucked up shit that’s been eating at me.
My own confusion, fear, and pain scream to life inside me, and as my legs begin to tremble from the force of the orgasm threatening to overtake me, I don’t know whose demons will win.
His or mine?
Clawing at his shoulders as everything I’ve held on to for so long starts to slip away, I feel like I’m hanging on for dear life as he fucks me into oblivion.
He’s showing me absolutely no mercy.
His thick cock pumps in and out of me, hitting that spot inside me that’s too sensitive over and over again.
And I can’t let go… I can’t give myself up to it.
I can’t give myself up to the air panting between us or the feel of his sweaty skin slapping against my sweaty skin.
Because I’m afraid of what awaits me on the other side.
My orgasm keeps rising up inside me, but I fight it back down over and over.
My entire body starts to shake from holding in the force.
And top of all the shit that’s going on with my body, something is going on with my head.
Something is happening to me… something I can’t explain or put into words.
There’s a tightness, like I’m stretching. And I don’t know if I’ll snap back or break completely.
I’d hang here forever, clawing and scratching for dear life…
But Coy doesn’t give me a choice.
Somehow finding the air for words, he pants out between thrusts, “I love you, Allie.”
All at once the strength I had to hold on is knocked out of me with those four little words.
Something opens up inside me, and I feel Coy’s hand slap over my mouth as I start to scream.
I’m ripping open, my very soul being ripped to shreds.
Feelings… too many deeply buried feelings are slamming into me at once.
Affection… happiness…
Love.
A love so strong, so sharp, it’s slicing me to pieces.
And I feel like I’m falling apart.
But Coy’s right there with me.
Falling with me, he roars and furiously pumps me full of the warmth I need.
The warmth I’ve always needed to survive
Together, we’ve always been stronger.
I don’t know how I know that, but I accept it as truth.
A truth I desperately need to believe because I’m so fucking tired of being broken.
I’m so fucking tired of hurting.
Before either of us is done with our release, little orgasmic tremors still coursing through our bodies, I burst into tears.
Pulling me close, Coy holds me in his arms as I cling to him and all the shit I’ve been holding onto spills out of me.
I tell him everything.
Waking up and believing my parents lies.
Not wanting to remember when they told me he died…
The only thing I hold back is Mikhail. And the only reason I hold it back is because at this moment, in Coy’s arms, I can’t bring myself to say his name.
When I’m done, Coy strokes my hair back and tells me how beautiful I am. How every day I’ve been gone he missed me.
We both ache when he chokes up admitting he thought I disappeared intentionally, but if he’d known I had Levi…
And I believe him with every fucking fiber of my being.
Because somehow, someway, his heat of the moment declaration has healed a wound I didn’t even know I was carrying around.
His love has soothed a pain I didn’t even realize I had inside me.
I still don’t have my memories.
At least not the ones that should be in my brain.
I’m still not her, no matter how much I want to be.
I may never be her again, and for now that’s okay.
Because when he told me loved me, in my heart and soul, these echoes of feelings started to come back to me.
I remember what it was like to be with him.
To be loved by him.
There’s enough, just enough, to remind me, I’m his.
I’ve always been his.
Chapter Fifteen
Coy
Having Allie in my arms, with a sleeping Levi in hers, makes me feel like everything in the world is finally coming together. For five long fucking years I’ve waited for this moment. Five long, agonizing years.
A lot of emotions come into play when you do something like Allie and I just did in the bathroom. Pouring our hearts out to each other wasn’t exactly how I imagined it would all go down, but I can’t say that I’m disappointed.
My Allie Cat had a lot of shit weighing heavily on her shoulders. She’s been carrying a lot of burdens around for a long time.
Not anymore, she’s got me now.
She’s got a real fucking man to take that load from her. Not some pussy motherfucker who beats on women. She’s got a family with me and Levi, and she’s got her rightful spot back with the Bastards.