Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 167204 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 836(@200wpm)___ 669(@250wpm)___ 557(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 167204 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 836(@200wpm)___ 669(@250wpm)___ 557(@300wpm)
I think I wish I’d never met him, but since I have, I let him hold me. I pepper his face with the gentlest kisses I can, and when he sweeps an arm beneath me and lifts me up, I let him carry me in to his bed.
I let him lay me down and strip off my ruined clothes.
I watch him remove his.
I spread my legs and let him inside me, and all the time I pretend I’m the one allowing anything.
That I really, truly have a choice with him.
That he won’t drag me to hell and ruin my life all over again every time I start picking up the pieces.
He comes inside me.
Then he holds me.
And as I drift off to sleep in his arms, I feel as safe as I ever have in my life.
I know it’s a lie, but it’s a lie I let myself believe.
At least for one more night.
Chapter Forty-nine
Killian
I leave a note for Brynn on my pillow, then I head to her apartment to feed the damn cat.
I have to meet Sloane, but I knew if I didn’t feed Toast first, I’d return to an empty apartment no matter how many threats I made.
I text Sloane when I park so she knows to buzz me in, then I head straight up to her floor, hoping I don’t bump into Addison while I’m here.
On impulse, because I can’t stop being aware of its weight in my pocket, I slide my hand down to trace the shape of the burner phone just to make sure it’s still there. I know it is, but I still feel better feeling it. It feels like a get out of jail free card.
I know it isn’t that simple, but it is the closest thing to a lifeline the asshole could have handed me.
Sloane opens her bedroom door with a pleasant smile on her face. It must be bullshit. There’s no way she could still be happy to see me.
“Come in.” She steps back, absently smoothing down her white silk top and clasping her hands in front of the pale pink pencil skirt she’s wearing. “Would you like something to drink? I keep a mini fridge in here, so I have some drinks.”
I shake my head. “I’m good.”
She’s nervous. She tries to hide it behind her practiced politeness, but I can see it as she absently looks around for a place to sit as if she hasn’t been in her own room before.
“Over there works,” I say, nodding at the little sitting area she has set up with a white couch and chair around a coffee table.
She glances at me, then nods her agreement and takes a seat on the edge of the chair.
I sit on the couch.
Since I abandoned her at the party last night after taking her there, I figure I should probably apologize about that. “I’m sorry about last night.”
Her eyes widen slightly like that’s the last thing she expected me to say.
Which I guess is fair.
“Oh. Yeah, that was… not great.”
“I should have made sure you had a ride home.”
Her smile diminishes a bit when she realizes I was only apologizing for leaving her stranded and not literally everything else.
“Hex brought me home.”
I nod. I don’t have to worry about him pouncing on her like I would have worried if Brynn had been the one in his car, so I don’t bother asking about it. I know she made it home without any further damage being inflicted.
At least from him.
Which brings me to why I’m really here today.
“I know about you and Aiden.”
She freezes and quickly loses several shades of color.
I guess that answers my question.
I wondered, after I watched the video on the burner phone Aiden slipped into my pocket last night at the end of the fight, if Sloane ever would have told me on her own.
She wouldn’t have, and I would have hated being married to a woman who kept so much of herself secret from me. I know it’s probably a layer of self-protection, likely because she doesn’t feel she can trust me to love her if I know everything, but it’s just one more example of how fundamentally wrong Sloane and I are for each other.
I don’t know if Aiden is right for her, either.
I don’t know if he means anything to her.
I don’t know if she’s anything to him but a means to an end.
All I know is when Aiden leaned in and said, “I know how to get you out of your engagement,” my heart stopped. When I felt the weight of the phone he slid into my pocket, all I could think about was looking at what was on it.
I didn’t do it right away, of course.
I had Brynn with me, and she’s the biggest fucking distraction I’ve ever encountered, but once she was sleeping soundly in bed next to me where she belongs, I finally took the phone out of my jacket pocket and slipped into the bathroom.