Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Several long seconds of absolute silence followed their departure. It was Riley who broke the tension when he asked, “Are they gonna go…?”
“No,” Ford said at the same time that Cam groaned out, “Yes.” I smiled when Ford gave Cam a light shove.
Riley nodded and began filling his fork with noodles. He paused and looked at the food.
“Why’d they take the spaghetti—”
“Riley, I’ll give you a hundred dollars not to finish that question and another hundred if we never have to talk about this again,” Cam interjected. I laughed as the older man covered his eyes as if he were actually trying to avoid the image of what it was that Lenny and Walter were going to do with the food.
“Deal,” the teen quickly said and then he began shoveling the rest of his food into his mouth. Cam and Ford had clearly lost their appetites. Since I was used to Walter and Lenny’s outrageous conversations and even trysts, one of which I’d inadvertently walked in on when both men had been in their bathroom for an inordinate amount of time, I had no problem finishing my food. Theo had stopped eating, but I was glad to see him talking quietly to Ford. His mask had returned but at least he’d gotten some calories into his system.
And I’d gotten my fix of seeing and hearing the real Theo, even if it had only been for a few seconds.
I’d take whatever I could get.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THEO
I liked the way the sun felt on my arms as its warm rays filtered through the dense canopy of leaves above my head. So much so that after taking a quick look around to make sure I was alone, I stripped off the heavy hoodie I wore pretty much twenty-four seven. In Minneapolis, I’d worn the thing because I’d always felt cold, even on the warmest of summer days. Since arriving in Pelican Bay, the hoodie had served an additional purpose—to hide the scars that ran up and down my forearms. No one in the city would have given two shits if I’d walked around in just a t-shirt and jeans. In fact, in the area I’d lived in, you’d learned not to notice other people.
Such a thing wasn’t even a possibility in the small town of Pelican Bay, let alone the chaotic household my former best friend and his lover called home.
But out here among the trees, I’d taken to shedding the heavy material during the last few days as I’d explored the woods behind Cam and Ford’s house. I’d started off on the well-used trails just to get a feel for the area but had begun to stray deeper into the denser part of the forest. Despite there being less sun to bathe my skin in warmth, I felt freer somehow. Like people had been forcing me to walk in the light my entire life even though what I felt inside was nothing but darkness.
As I wrapped the hoodie around my waist and tied the sleeves together, I couldn’t help but notice how thin my forearms looked. I almost laughed out loud when I realized that was the first thing I was noticing, not the big-ass scar on my right arm that was still in the process of scabbing over.
Lincoln had noticed my arms. Not just the scars but how bony and frail they looked.
Just like he’d noticed how I’d struggled to eat even a few bites of the spaghetti the night before.
He noticed too much.
I shook my head as even the thought of the man had butterflies dancing in my stomach. I hadn’t been alone with Lincoln for a week—a fact that had pissed me off instead of leaving me filled with relief like it should have—and I’d still been just as aware of him as I had when he’d been treating my arm. I’d known he was watching the night before when it came to how much food I’d been putting in my mouth versus how much I’d been just toying with to make it look like I was eating. I’d ended up taking a few bites of the food without even really realizing it but that night as I’d sat in bed and listened to Lincoln move around in our joint bathroom, I felt like he’d somehow played me.
Except he hadn’t.
I’d eaten that food because I’d wanted to.
Not because I’d chosen to or chosen not to.
No, it’d been because I’d fucking felt safe enough that I hadn’t needed to choose. I’d just done it. I’d had only the briefest of moments where I’d fought that inner voice that had told me if I ate the food, it would be the same as not being able to run a blade over my skin.
I’d have no control.
I’d have no choice.
I’d be back there.
A shiver threatened to steal away all the warmth I’d been feeling but I managed to ignore it as I wound my way through the trees.