Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
There was a long, painful span of silence between us.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
“The car has a built-in tracking system. I used Ford’s phone to see where you were going. I was sure you were headed to the bus station.”
“That’s where I told myself to go but I just kind of ended up here. I’d never driven a car before. It always looked so easy when I watched someone else do it but trying to get the car turned around so I could get it out of the driveway was scary as shit. I thought I’d end up driving your car right into a tree.” I paused for a moment because it was such a ridiculous conversation. I knew what Lincoln wanted. What he deserved. “I don’t think I did any damage to it, though.”
“Why did you come here, Theo? Of all places?” Lincoln asked. “You’ve been sitting here for almost twelve hours.”
I stared at the two ice cream cones on top of Double D’s. Patrons had been coming and going all day, but no one had noticed me or cared enough to ask why I’d been loitering at the little custard stand.
“I almost felt like the person I used to be when you brought me here. I guess I just wanted to have that back for a little while.”
Lincoln didn’t respond and I didn’t blame him. “If you knew where I was—”
“I didn’t come after you right away because I needed it to be your choice to either come home or leave for good.”
I could hear the anger in Lincoln’s voice now. He wanted answers. Real ones.
I reached for the hair tie on my wrist and snapped it several times. The pain helped push down the darkness that wanted to pull me back down to a place where I was safe. But it was all a lie. I never felt safe in the darkness. I hid there when I needed to, but I hated every second of it.
I hated a lot of things.
“I was so fucking scared, Lincoln,” I finally said. “That guy walked in and pointed the gun at us and there was nothing in his eyes and I couldn’t do a fucking thing. Riley was crying and I just sat there.”
“Riley is a strong kid, Theo. He’ll be okay, I promise. If you hadn’t done what you did…”
Lincoln’s voice sounded strangled. Enough so that I forced myself to look at him.
“I was so afraid I wouldn’t make it in time,” he admitted.
I wanted to touch him. To take his hand and tell him how fucking brave I thought he was, but I knew if my skin came into contact with his, I’d shatter into a million pieces.
“I left because I knew if you came out of that house and took me in your arms, I’d never be able to let you go,” I managed to admit. “I was so scared that I’d never see you again when that guy walked into the house. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to tell you how sorry I was for what I did this morning after we got back from our walk. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to explain that when you fucking held my hand this morning, it made me forget that the peace inside of me wasn’t real and then I saw the house and it all came back…”
I felt a sob catch in my throat, but I managed to swallow it down. I sensed Lincoln reaching for me, so I quickly jumped off the hood of the car. “Don’t… don’t touch me, okay? Please?” I practically begged as I wrapped my arms around myself.
“Okay,” Lincoln responded carefully. I wondered if he was finally realizing how close to coming apart I really was.
I couldn’t help but look at him as I whispered, “I’ve told so many lies, Lincoln. I’ve done things. Bad things. I’ve been sitting here all day trying to figure out how we could be the same people who joked about this place yesterday in the car. How we could be the same people who watched the sun rise this morning with that poor dog at our side who didn’t have to be afraid for a few minutes. Just like I wasn’t afraid. I wanted to figure out how to do all that without having to tell you the truth about who I really am and why we can never be together.”
I moved around the side of the car and leaned back against the driver’s side door.
I stiffened as I felt the car shift. I knew he hadn’t gotten off the hood of the car just to pace around or put more distance between us. My brain was screaming at me to move but my body refused to heed the order. When Lincoln appeared in front of me and caged me in by placing his palms against the car on each side of me, I wanted so many different things.