Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Talk about a slap of reality. Like the universe had all but backhanded him to wake him up. To see what was happening, what he was ignoring. His growing attachment to someone who’d never openly be his man. Someone who lived for fame and was ruled by fear. Who’d fight to defend his worth in the public eye.
Kai’s chest clenched even as he continued his breath work, his hair down and still damp from a recent shower. As soon as he’d returned home, he’d ditched his garb, turned down the lights, lit some candles and incense, and then headed for the garden. His intention, to ground himself with tai chi. Releasing restless energy via the slow, controlled movements of martial arts. His focus trained solely on his body instead of his mind.
Despite his efforts, his thoughts had persisted, circling back to things like the text message Breck had sent him earlier on that day. He’d wanted to talk. Kai hadn’t been ready, though. Not then, and not even now. Was still too raw about what had transpired and his following conclusion.
It hadn’t taken long to recognize that tai chi wasn’t going to cut it. So, he’d turned to water, the elements, to try to anchor himself. His shower was long and hot, and soothed his muscles, but just like tai chi, was unsuccessful in bringing him back to center.
Hence the reason he now sat with eyes closed, attempting to focus on his breathing. When all else failed, meditation was always a quality standby. Where one withdrew to take a mental timeout. Clearly, he needed a break from his head. To become a mere observer of his rampant thoughts.
Slow, deep inhale… Hold… Unhurried release…
Clear the mind…
In the back of his awareness, rain pattered on the windowpanes.
Thunder rumbled.
Kai observed his thoughts as one would regard a stream of traffic. Perched on a hillside beside the road, acknowledging each vehicle but not engaging, not grabbing hold. No applying meaning or even judgment. Just observing. Letting each thought pass and be on its way.
Inhaling slowly… Filling the belly…
Hold…
Exhale… Relaxing the body…
His tension ebbed, his shoulders easing—
Ding dong!
Kai stilled and opened his eyes, muscles tensing right back up again.
Shit. Only one person would show up unannounced at this time of night.
His heart lurched as his stomach twisted warily.
Frowning, he rose to his feet.
Seeing Breck again would feel like heaven, but saying what had to be said was going to suck worse than hell.
He strode to the security panel and pushed the camera-feed button. Breck, directly in view, hands braced on either side of the door.
Kai exhaled and drew a hand down his face, then hit the comm button. “Breck… It’s late.”
“I know.” Breck peered up into the camera, his eyes intense. “Just need a minute. To talk.”
Kai softened at the sight of him, even as his insides warred.
Discourse is good. It’d bring closure.
No, he corrected himself. Breck will worm his way back in again.
He’s way too beautiful.
And made Kai’s heart beat way too fast.
But it was raining out… And Breck had sounded sincere…
Kai unlocked things remotely. “Fine. But make it quick.”
Dropping his hand, he moved to the end of the island and crossed his arms. The sound of footsteps resounded up the stairwell. A heartbeat later, Breck shoved through the door.
Locking gazes with Kai, he stopped short in the foyer. “Hey.” His eyes were anxious, his voice breathless. Kai got the sense though, that it had nothing to do with his climb up the stairs.
“Hey.”
Breck regarded him for a moment, as if trying to get a bead on his current state, then toed off his shoes and stepped up into Kai’s place. Kai took him in; dark-wash blue jeans and a copper-colored tee. And fuck if that shirt didn’t make Breck’s amber eyes all but glow.
Kai’s heart sped up as Breck approached, his insides teeming.
Breck stopped two feet away, throwing all kinds of vibes. “I texted you.”
Kai nodded. “Was going to message you tomorrow.”
Breck grinned and stepped closer. “Now you don’t have to.”
Kai quirked a smile. “Yes. So it seems.”
Breck licked his lower lip, still eyeing Kai closely. Then his gorgeous gaze dipped to Kai’s mouth.
Aw, fuck. Kai’s stomach clenched anxiously. Breck was amping himself up to kiss him. Which Kai would really fucking love but couldn’t afford.
Clearing his throat, he straightened and tightened his arms. “Breck… What are you doing here?”
Breck’s happy front ebbed. “I wanted to see you. To apologize… for blowing up on you last night.”
Kai inclined his head. “Forgiven. You were upset. I understand.”
Breck grinned again, eyes flashing, and went for his mouth. Kai tensed as Breck fused their lips, his hands palming Kai’s neck, his big, warm thumbs against the sides of Kai’s jaw.
No. I can’t do this, Kai reminded himself, gripping Breck’s arms, even as his eyes slid shut.
That young, hot, eager mouth was impossible to resist.