Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
“I know,” Breck muttered. “Turns out I really like both. Not that I’ve been with a ton of guys, because I haven’t. Just two. Thing is, it’s not just about the sex this time. I’m more than just attracted to him. It’s like I like him-like him… A lot.”
Ned blinked, then raked a hand through his bangs. “Holy wow…”
“Right?” Breck sighed, sitting back. “Leave it to Breck the Unattainable to finally fall for a dude.”
Ned frowned, clearly still digesting this revelation. “I never saw the signs… God, what kind of best friend am I?”
“Nah, man. Like I said, there’s only been two. One sophomore year… and the one right now. The rest, all girls.”
Ned regarded him, then finally grinned. “So, who is it? This lucky fellow who tamed the almighty king?”
Breck smiled sadly and looked away. “Doesn’t matter. I epically blew it and now he’s totally done.”
“Who. Is. It?” Ned persisted. “I’m your best fuckin’ homie, I hold the rights to know.”
He absolutely did. Breck would never contest that.
But just saying his name was going to seriously hurt. Bracing his heart, he met Ned’s gaze. “Kai,” he murmured.
Wait for it…
Ned’s eyes bugged wide. “Whoa, what?” He started laughing. Then his gaze strayed in thought. “Oh, my fucking nut... It all makes sense.” He looked back at Breck. “I totally see it now. That stick up your ass whenever he was around. You didn’t want to like him. He was a complication. But you couldn’t fucking help it, and that shit pissed you off.”
Breck feigned another smile. “See? You do know me, G. The same old idiot, just with my dick pointed a different way.”
“Man, oh, man.” Ned chuckled. “That man has made you ornery. I was starting to worry about your grumpy ass.”
Breck’s shoulders slumped in both relief and resignation. He’d finally told his friend, but what Ned just said was entirely true. So much time he’d wasted being irritated at Kai. Time he could have spent enjoying his company while he actually could.
Ned quieted. “So, how come you never told me?”
Breck sighed and shrugged a little. “I dunno. Maybe ’cause for the most part, that side of me has always been benched? I never pursued it much ’cause I kinda couldn’t. You know, being in the public eye and all. Too big of a risk for potential bad press. God knows, my old man would never have stood for that shit.”
“Why? He’s not a homophobe.”
“No, but he’s been busting his ass to get me into professional basketball. If I ever went public, I’d be putting all his efforts on the line, too.”
Breck shook his head and frowned at his friend. “My dad’s got very little faith in society. And, I mean, I get it. He lived in the south growing up. People weren’t exactly the greatest back then.”
“But the world’s gotten better. Way better.”
“Yeah… it has. But, you know, it can still be harsh. Everybody loves to build a man up and then knock him down.”
Ned seemed unable to argue that one. Everybody knew that, even now, there were assholes in influential places that could, and oftentimes still did, exercise their power in highly discriminatory ways.
Scratching his cheek, Ned shifted his weight and pocketed his hands, then redirected the conversation. “So… how’d you blow it? With Kai.”
Breck’s chest clenched. And then a dark laugh escaped. “Let me count the ways.”
Ned’s lips twitched. “Let’s hear it, you numbskull.”
Breck exhaled and started from the beginning. Every bad call he’d made since day one. When he finished, Ned didn’t reply, his expression that of someone considering every piece of an overall puzzle.
Finally, he nodded and gave a shrug. “Well, it’s obvious, right? Whatchu gotta do?”
Breck cocked a brow and eyed him. “Live and learn?”
Ned laughed. “Well, yeah. But that part goes without saying.”
Breck regarded him blankly, having no clue what his friend was suggesting.
Ned rolled his eyes. “Seriously? You’ve forgotten everything I’ve taught you already?”
“You’ve taught me lots throughout the years, my guy. Like all the things not to do after watching you crash and burn.”
Ned laughed, not even trying to deny it. Instead, he seemed to wear that shit like a badge of honor. “Yes but, young padawan, you’ve missed the bigger picture. All those fails were merely the byproduct of each experience. Experiences I went after with much excitement because they brought me joy.”
He gestured to himself. “Do I look worse for it? Or do I look happier, more satisfied? It’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all. You know the saying. Go big or go home. I’ve triumphed just as fuckin’ many times as I’ve flopped.”
Breck crossed his arms. “So, what’re you saying? Go public and pursue this thing with Kai?”
“I dunno. Is that what you want? Would that make you happy?”
“Well, yeah, of course, but—”