Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
He stopped short, realizing in hindsight that ever since he’d met Kai, he’d been doing the exact opposite; adamantly ignoring his heart. Obstinately dismissing what it’d been telling him every step of the way.
Another exhale left him. Jesus. All this time, it had been fighting to guide him toward where he was supposed to go. Toward what he was supposed to do. Who he was supposed to be. Like some built-in GPS whose directions he’d been refusing to acknowledge.
And surer than shit, every time he’d disregarded them, he’d wound up at a dead end or lost in some proverbial ghetto, the repercussions growing worse with each evade until he’d literally run off the road.
He could see it all so clearly now. It’d been steering him back to Kai. The pivotal piece to his happily-ever-after. Because a future with Kai was equivalent to Breck being true to himself.
Heart thumping, he peered back at those windows. Kai was up there right now. So close, he could almost taste him.
So, what was his heart telling him to do right now? He closed his eyes and focused. Listened. To that silent space between each rhythmic beat.
Give yourself to him. With no reservations.
Just the prospect had his insides lighting bright.
Meaning that was unequivocally the path to follow. The same path he’d followed twice before with Kai, both times left with a soul-deep contentment of which there were no words to describe.
Because everything, absolutely all of it, had felt totally real.
Resolved, he inhaled deeply, then let it out. Rolled his shoulders and made his way to the door. Pulse accelerating, he eyed the intercom… and then pushed the button.
Would Kai ignore him and not answer at all?
Would he tell him through the speaker that he wasn’t interested and to just go home?
He’d have to be ready for whatever method Kai used to send him away.
The intercom never sounded though, Kai’s dismissal through the speaker never coming to pass. Instead, and to Breck’s great surprise, Kai opened up the door himself and met his gaze, his up-close-and-personal the most beautiful sight for Breck’s anxious eyes. The most refreshing image to his spirit since, well, their last encounter.
And yet, despite how happy Breck was to see him, Kai’s demeanor looked unmistakably reserved. Wary even. As if he were debating whether opening that door would prove a colossal mistake.
Without thinking, Breck surprised even himself, and humbly bowed at the waist in a show of respect. When he straightened back up, Kai was eyeing him, looking taken off guard. But then something shifted in his expression and he returned the gesture. When their eyes met again, his gaze looked softer, his features less tense despite the guarded set of his jaw.
God, he looked so surreal under the moonlight. Like some beautiful midnight angel descended in answer to Breck’s silent prayers.
Heart thudding, Breck cleared his throat. “Hey… Thanks for answering.”
Kai’s intelligent eyes glinted. “I suspected it’d be the easiest way.”
Must’ve sensed that Breck wouldn’t be leaving until he opened up.
Breck smiled sheepishly.
Kai merely regarded him, then gave his body a slow, contemplative onceover. His gaze felt so incredibly good. But then his eyes rose back to Breck’s with a frown. “It’s late. What can I do for you, Breck?”
The distance in his voice stung.
Breck hesitated, suddenly uncertain of what to do.
You got this, Harland. Don’t overthink it.
“I just need you to give me a couple minutes of your time.”
Kai’s lips pursed, apprehension clear in his posture. He rubbed his mouth, and then his forehead. “Breck, I don’t think so.”
“Please.” God, he sounded so desperate. He didn’t care, though. Truth be told, he was desperate. For this man.
Kai studied him, then finally exhaled softly. “Fine. Just a couple of minutes.” Turning on his heel, he headed back inside.
Breck’s heart leapt with its first glimpse of hope.
Following behind Kai, he shut the door and trailed him up the steps. Memories returned of the first time he’d gone to Kai’s apartment. That fateful afternoon following graduation. Felt like ages ago, when he’d followed Kai up this stairwell. And yet, somehow it also felt like yesterday.
Jesus, his head had been in such a different place then. So viscerally attracted to Kai, while at the same time, wishing he wasn’t. Thinking only of how it complicated his perfectly orchestrated life. Then convincing himself all he wanted from this man were some random bouts of fun.
Of course, now he knew better on both fronts. His perfectly orchestrated life was absolutely anything but. And what he wanted from Kai was so much more than casual sex.
They reached Kai’s pad, but as they stepped inside, Breck’s jaw went instantly slack at the mesmerizing sight. Speechless, he peered around the apartment as soft, lit candles everywhere as ambient music soothingly filled the space. Cream-colored pillars on virtually every surface. Kai’s shelving unit, his coffee and end tables, even the steps beyond the couch leading up to his bedroom. A bedroom, incidentally, that was visible this time. Not concealed behind large shoji doors. Breck stole a look at Kai’s large platform bed, enamored by its design and how it rested so close to the floor. Never in his life had a sleeping surface ever looked so sexy.