Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
“I know.” Breck’s voice cracked with emotion. “Which is exactly why I’m willing to do it.” Closing his eyes, he palmed the back of Kai’s thighs, then rested his head against Kai’s stomach and loosed an anguished moan.
Kai’s exhale was ragged. “Breck.” He settled his hands atop Breck’s shoulders.
A move to hold Breck close, or to push him away?
Breck groaned at the prospect of that latter. “Please… Give us one more try.” Lifting his eyes, he gazed up at Kai with unconcealed intensity. “Bind me. Use me. Love me. Do whatever you want. I wanna be what you need tonight.”
Kai’s jaw muscle ticked, his expression a storm of emotions. His eyes, quietly misting with tears. “You’re sure you’re ready to be the man I need, jeja?” His thick voice dipped lower, his timbre turning to velvet. “No more fucking pretending.”
Breck’s heart skipped an elated beat. It’d felt like eternity since Kai had called him jeja.
A tender endearment he now cherished more than gold.
Holding Kai’s gaze, he exhaled softly and smiled. “I was never pretending.”
— EIGHTEEN —
Kai’s defenses wavered at Breck’s raw confession, his words like a balm to his weary soul.
Nevertheless, he was still reluctant to believe him. But as he leaned into Breck’s energy, he could sense that Breck was being sincere. Something that swayed him even more than Breck down on his knees, vowing to change and abstain from alcohol. Or even more surprisingly, to go public about being bi right before the Draft.
A turn of events that Kai hadn’t been prepared for. A plot twist that changed things in ways that he couldn’t deny. In one fell swoop, Breck had upended the entire game, knocking over every recent roadblock that had built up between them.
And yet, that vibe he was throwing was the most influential force of all. The intensity of his emotions, the sincerity in his voice. The desperation in his eyes at the thought of Kai letting him go.
Breck wasn’t in it for the sex anymore. Kai could see that now, could feel it down to the marrow of his bones. Breck wanted him, wanted them, together. In such a big way that he’d risk virtually everything. Something, in hindsight, Kai had never once detected from Ryan.
A flood of relief swept through his body.
Breck was nothing like Ryan.
And now their differences were breathtakingly clear.
Ryan’s sights had always been set on that ladder, the one that would take him to the very top. All too willing to cut Kai loose as soon as he conflicted with his interests.
Breck, on the other hand, had aspirations, but not to the extent that they’d ultimately blinded him. Somewhere since they’d spoken at Tad’s, he’d opened his eyes and had started to see what mattered most.
Kai just prayed that he’d stay awake.
A prayer, he’d admit, that had begun even before he’d gone downstairs and opened the door. When he’d been practicing his evening tai chi and heard Breck’s car in the parking lot. He’d known it was him. No one else came around unannounced so late at night. And even as a part of him prepared to tell Breck to go, another part, in the center of his ribs, hoped for an entirely different outcome. That Breck would finally say all the words that Kai had needed to hear.
So, he’d waited for that doorbell to chime, trying like hell to be at peace with what the universe decreed, and continued on with his exercises in the quiet of his home. Except, the doorbell never sounded. Which, truth be told, had siphoned his last semblance of hope. Just to be sure though, to give himself closure, he’d gone to the camera feed to make sure Breck had left, his heart braced and ready to concede at the sight of him gone.
To his surprise, Breck hadn’t been gone. He was definitely, and quite visibly, still there. Pacing underneath Kai’s oak tree, looking anxious and, God, totally beautiful. Kai’s insides had melted, Breck’s troubled-yet-determined expression hitting him right in the feels. His proud, handsome athlete searching so ardently for the right words to say.
The scene had moved him, and as he continued to watch, he found himself sighing in wistful longing.
So, when Breck finally found the courage to ring that doorbell, Kai was already on his way down the stairs. No matter how this encounter ended, he’d resolved to engage Breck face to face.
Gazing down at him on his knees, his air so self-effacing, Kai could feel his walls continuing to buckle, a warmth so immeasurable growing in the pit of his stomach.
And then his heart, in its peaceful, knowing tone, whispered, One more try.
And that was all he needed to finally understand.
This was the path he’d always been destined to take.
The way he’d always needed to go to finally heal inside.
Yes. He’d give Breck one more try.