Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 46412 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 232(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46412 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 232(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
“I’m serious,” I mutter—not wanting to be placated. I pull my hand away from his. Skin to Skin contact with King muddles my brain. This conversation seems as if it needs my full attention. Wringing my hands together nervously, I try to collect my thoughts. They are all over the place. I really didn’t want this conversation. I don’t want King to think less of me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “No woman goes into a relationship with a man thinking she’s going to allow that person to hit her and treat her like she’s less. I mean, for me, I went into my relationship with Mason thinking he saw me, the real me, you know?” I can’t force myself to look up to see his face. I don’t think I can handle it if he’s judging me. “I thought Mason cared for me. I thought we were partners because that’s what Grandma Billie and my grandfather had.”
“It didn’t work out that way,” King says, kind of matter-of-factly—probably because he already knows the answer.
“Not at all.” I laugh, but the sound has no humor. “That first time he hit me, I was shocked. I didn’t want to believe he meant to hurt me, or that he wasn’t the loving man I thought he was. I made excuses. I said things like our tempers were out of control and got the better of us. I even blamed myself because I was pushing him to agree with me. The excuses for his behavior were never ending.”
While I’m telling King this my eyes are unfocused, my mind drifts back to that dark place full of shame and despair. I go back to a time when I lost sight of who I am.
“Shelby—”
“That’s what makes that first hit the deadliest though, King. You let him away with it and it becomes okay. You take the majority of the blame, and it colors how you think from that moment on. It opens the flood gate on every single insecurity you’ve ever had. So that when the next time happens you believe it when he tells you that it’s your fault. You hear him list the things you did wrong, and you start to agree with him. You apologize for nagging him or pushing his buttons.”
King pulls my face around gently, so I look at him. “Babe, there’s never a reason for a man to lash out at a woman like that and if he does, he isn’t a fucking man.”
I smile a smile I don’t feel. Tears are pooled in my eyes, making King’s face somewhat blurry.
“I realized that—eventually. The problem with men who abuse is, once they discover they can’t manipulate you any longer, they use fear.”
“Shelby…”
“Even if you aren’t a weak person, fear is a really good way to control you.” He lifts me up suddenly, making me squeal. The boat starts to teeter beneath us. I’m afraid we are both about to take a swim. When I’m settled in his lap and positive the two of us aren’t going to fall into the small lake, I slap his chest. “Are you crazy? You could drown us both!”
King laughs, taking both my hands in one of his. “I’m not going to capsize the damn boat. I just needed you close.”
“Why?” I ask, settling into his lap. This is dangerous for a whole different reason. Being this close to King makes my entire body tremble.
“I want to look into your eyes so that I know you can hear me.” His arms enclose around me. That safe feeling overwhelms me as he gazes at me like he can see straight to my soul.
“Hear you?”
“I’m making you a promise right now, beautiful. This fucking Mason—whoever he is—won’t touch you again. I’m not going to let him anywhere near you from here on out.” There’s an edge to his voice that tells me he means every word and that should scare me more than being this close to him with the lake providing the perfect backdrop for the best date I’ve ever had.
“This is like our first date. We don’t even know each other well enough for you to make that promise, and there’s not going to be a second date. I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”
“You’re right,” King tells me as I frown at him. “I’m not going to date you.” This time I can’t hide my disappointment. It’s visceral as my heart drops to my stomach. Even though I get that we don’t have anything in common and I’m truly not ready. I was hoping King would fight to keep seeing me.
Which is crazy.
“You’re not?” I murmur.
“I’m going to claim you,” King says, pulling me in for a kiss.
I don’t know what he means by claim me, but I want it—even knowing I shouldn’t. I whimper as King’s tongue teases my lips. When I give him entry, it feels like instant combustion. Heat floods my entire body. This man knows how to kiss. It’s soft and sensual, while feeling like he’s desperate for me. The sensations are unlike anything I knew possible.