Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Don’t forget that on the same night you declined sex with him, you ended up having sex with Noah.
Guilt nags at the lining of my stomach and burns nausea up into my throat.
How on earth did I get here?
It’s like I’m some lying, secretive, two-man-dating woman.
Or at least, that’s how I feel as I wave to the doorman at Chase and Brooke’s building and head for the elevator at the back. Honestly, it’s a modern miracle that my body can walk and tie itself in knots at the same time.
The elevator ride is quick, and Brooke answers my three knocks to her door even quicker. I’m instantly thankful for the distraction that is my sister’s smiling face.
“You survived,” I tease and reach out to affectionately rub my hand over her rounded belly.
“Not a single casualty.” She holds open the door, and two tiny torpedoes hit me at full speed as soon as I enter her apartment. I rub at my sons’ fluffy heads as they smile up at me, their mouths moving a mile a minute.
“Mom, I beat Aunt Brooke and Uncle Chase five times at Uno last night!” Seth yells his excitement.
“Way to go, dude.”
“I won too!” Grant shouts, not wanting to be left out.
“Yeah, but you only won two times, and I won five!”
“But two times is good, Seth!” Grant declares with a swing of his still-casted arm. “Two times is really good!”
“Two times is good, but it’s not five times like me!”
“All I’m really hearing here is that Aunt Brooke and Uncle Chase were the big losers of the night.” I look over at my sister, who is now leaning against the doorway that leads into the living room.
She bites her lip with a shake of her head before stating, “We did not perform at all.”
But you know who did perform last night? Noah.
The rogue, completely inappropriate thought hits me like a Mack truck just drove itself into my sister’s living room. My mind gnaws and my stomach clenches, and I find myself looking at Brooke with a face that makes her stand up straight. “Boys!” she says with both an immediacy and a cheeriness I wish I could muster. “Uncle Chase is in our bedroom. Go wrestle him until he screams.”
“Ayyye!” Grant shouts like a banshee and takes off at a run, followed closely behind by his older brother.
Poor Chase.
Brooke wastes no time waddling toward me, her back curved like a hundred-year-old tree under the weight of her growing child. Benji walks closely at her side, seemingly unfazed by the crazy kids who just tore by him to head down the hall.
She takes a seat on the couch, patting the spot next to her. “Take a load off.”
After a singular deep breath, I plop down beside her. I don’t even have a choice at this point. I can’t keep this to myself. I have to get it off my chest. I’ll suffocate if I don’t.
“As you know, last night, I went on a date with Gavin.” I start at the beginning but keep the extraneous details to a minimum. I have a quota on words I’ll be able to get out without crying.
She nods but doesn’t say anything. She knows I need the floor, and she’s giving it to me.
“It went fine, and I enjoyed his company as I always do, maybe even more so. But when it got to the end of the night, he asked me back to his hotel, and I said no.”
She swallows, nodding again.
“He was upset, and, to be honest, I understand. I’ve been signaling to him that there’s a chance by continuing to go out with him. If not for a relationship, at least for sex,” I say, whispering the last word just in case little ears have escaped the wrestling match with Chase without my knowing it. “Most people over forty don’t need an offer of marriage to…fornicate.”
Brooke’s eyebrows draw together critically. “What do you mean, upset? Like, he was visibly disappointed but a gentleman?”
“He…well. He asked what the hell we’re doing. He said he thought we were getting somewhere.”
“No, ma’am,” she interrupts with a raise of her hand.
“Brooke. He didn’t, like, physically do anything, if that’s what you’re thinking. He—”
“No way. It doesn’t matter. Your body autonomy is yours, and you are allowed to say no, no matter how much you think you’ve been ‘signaling.’ Him getting upset about not getting his cookie at the end of the meal is bullshit.”
She’s one hundred percent right. No woman should feel like she owes a man sex or feel guilted or pressured into having it if she doesn’t want to.
“I know,” I agree. “That’s why I held my ground. But I can still understand where he’s coming from, okay? I get why he was irritated with me last night, and he’s been texting me this morning and apologizing. I’m more upset with myself than I am with him.”