Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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“Whatcha doin’, Mom?” Grant asks, completely oblivious to my agony.

I force a deep inhale of oxygen into my lungs, and once the pain eases enough for me to speak without dropping f-bombs, I announce through still slightly gritted teeth, “Boys, I told you to clean up your toys.”

“We did,” Seth comments like he can’t see the pile of Legos they’ve managed to leave by the door. You know, the ones that nearly turned my foot into a bloody stump.

I eye him knowingly, a look that says, “You best clean up your shit.” And he has the good sense not to make any additional commentary.

Grant, on the other hand, is still completely clueless, swinging a plastic sword around with his newly uncasted arm as he jumps on his bed.

“Grant, what did I tell you about jumping on the bed?”

“You said we shouldn’t do it.”

“Yeah… So why are you doing it?”

He shrugs. “Because it’s fun?”

“Listen, mister, you better get your little butt off that bed and help your brother clean up, or else I’m going to call Zoe and tell her you guys can’t go to the zoo today. Do you and Sal want to end up back in casts so soon?”

“Ah, man,” he whines, but he also listens. Thank goodness.

Once their clothes are put away and I’m certain they’re following through on their cleanup orders, I head out of their room and carry the laundry basket into the room Noah and I set up for Kara to occasionally sleep over.

Hers, of course, is much cleaner than my two heathens, and I only have to put on her freshly washed sheets before leaving her room.

By the time I reach our bedroom, I find Dolly spread out on our bed, enjoying a little siesta. Our girl has her own dog bed, mind you, but once I splurged on a fluffy Egyptian cotton comforter and sheets, she’s decided that her naps belong on our bed.

I can’t blame her. The coziness is real.

“You’re a lazy girl, Dolly. But I get it. It’s not easy chasing after those two wild boys all day long.” I rub a gentle hand down her back, and she responds by wagging her tail for a few seconds.

“Mom! Noah’s on the phone!” Seth screams down the hallway, and I give Dolly one last scratch behind the ears before heading into the hallway.

I locate my now-discarded-on-the-counter phone and find both of my sons sitting on the barstools in the kitchen.

“Mom, I’m hungry,” Grant announces as I lift my cell to my ear.

“Hey,” I greet into the receiver before telling my smallest child, “Zoe is going to take you to lunch, but you can have a banana, if you want.”

“But, Mom! I wanted cookies.”

“Grant.”

“Fine,” he mutters and grabs a banana off the counter. “You’re so diff-a-calt.”

“Sounds like a busy day over there,” Noah’s amused voice says in my ear while I suck in my lips to keep myself from laughing at Grant’s cute take on the pronunciation of the word difficult.

“Oh, you know, just some laundry and cleaning up and nearly amputated my foot with a Lego. Nothing too wild.”

He laughs at that. “Those Legos are going to be the death of our feet.”

“Tell me about it.” I snort. “How’s work going?”

“Not bad. Just finished up with my final surgery and only have patient rounds left,” he answers. “You think you have some time to grab a late lunch with me?”

“Dolly and I are supposed to meet Kendall and Chanandler at the park for a walk, but other than that, I’m free until work. Zoe’s taking the boys to the zoo and said she could keep them busy until around five or so.”

Now that Noah and I have gotten all settled in our new place, Kendall and I are creating a bit of a routine. At least once a week, we’ve promised to meet in the park with the dogs, and for the past two Sundays, she’s been joining Brooke and me for lunch at our favorite diner.

Honestly, she’s starting to become a pretty close friend of mine.

And Dale, well, that motherfucker isn’t in the picture. Last I heard, he’s trying to take responsibility for the precious baby in Ashley’s belly, but other than the fact that Kendall filed for divorce, that’s all I know. Even Noah has pretty much cut ties with him.

The cheating was bad enough, but the way he’s handled the aftermath? Noah’s been unable to move past it.

“You want to eat together in my on-call room?” Noah asks, but his voice takes on an edge of unspoken promise.

I sure do like the sound of that…

“I think I can squeeze you in, Dr. Philips.”

“Well, thank fuck for that.” His voice has this sexy rasp to it that urges a secret smile to my lips. “Text me when you’re on your way here.”


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