Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 75871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
“Yeah. I was going to ask you the same thing.” But hearing Colby ask it made the hairs on the back of his neck rise, made him wonder if Colby was going to tell him this was too much just when Vince wanted to tell him he might want more.
“I’m sorry, Vince. I should let you relax first. I didn’t want to chicken out.”
Vince tried to hold back his fear, his worry. “You can tell me anything.”
“I know. It’s taken me a while to be ready, but that’s because of me, not you.”
He frowned, unsure what Colby meant.
“Sit down. I’ll get us a drink. The last batch of beer I bottled should be ready by now.”
Vince sat on the couch, legs restless while Colby went into the kitchen and came back with two bottles. He’d opened them both already, and he handed one to Vince before sitting beside him. Vince took a drink, notes of caramel and toffee bursting on his tongue. “Goddamn. This is good.”
Colby beamed, his eyes lighting up as if Vince had just given him the world.
He took another drink. “Seriously, babe. This is my favorite one. You’re getting better and better.” Babe felt weird to say. He wanted to call him baby. That was…maybe not a good thing.
“I feel like I have a handle on it now. I have all sorts of ideas, but that’s not what I want to talk about. I have something to admit to you.”
Vince was fairly certain his heart stopped beating hearing that. Has anything good ever started with I have something to admit to you? Not in Vince’s experience.
He set his bottle on the coffee table.
When Colby looked down, Vince forgot about his own fears, forgot about all the negative ways this might affect him. All he wanted was to console Colby, make sure he knew everything was okay.
“You can trust me. You can always talk to me.” He’d said so earlier but felt it was important to hammer it home now.
Colby set his beer down too. “My whole life I’ve felt like something was wrong with me. When the kids in school or my siblings had crushes, I never did. I used to make them up or pretend I had them just to fit in.”
That was…not what he’d expected to hear. He opened his mouth to reply, but Colby continued.
“All the women I dated, I thought they were nice and pretty. Some were funny and we had things in common. I was physically attracted to them and liked them well enough, but I just…didn’t know how to feel anything more for them, anything romantic. I felt so fucked up. So broken.”
“Hey, there’s nothing fucked up or broken about you. Are you aromantic?” Vince asked. It would make sense. Colby’s not wanting a relationship always seemed to differ from Vince’s.
Colby’s gaze shot to him. “You know what that is? I just learned about it today.”
Vince nodded. There was his answer. He was sitting here ready to tell Colby he had feelings for him, that he wanted a relationship with him but was scared, and Colby had figured out he was aromantic. “I do. It’s okay, babe. You don’t have anything to feel bad about. Your feelings are valid. I’m the one who changed things up, who started feeling more and—”
“Wait. What? You feel more for me?” Colby asked, his confusion evident.
“I didn’t mean to. I’m not saying I’m gonna get down on one knee and propose to you, but yeah, things are changing for me. It won’t affect our friendship. I can work it out. I don’t want this to come between us and—”
“I have feelings for you too,” Colby cut him off, then gave him a shy smile. “I didn’t get to finish. I read about aromanticism, and while part of it fit, other parts didn’t because I…I feel something for you too. I kept researching, and I think I might be demiromantic…well, that along with my bisexuality, but I’m still trying to work through how the demiromantic label feels. I don’t know exactly what this is, and I’m scared to jump the gun, but there’s something here, Vince. For the first time in my life, I want more. I want you.”
“I want you too,” Vince admitted, heart too damn big to fit in his chest. “I want you so much, it’s all I’ve been thinking about since I realized it, but I can’t pretend I’m not worried.” Colby offered him a smile, and Vince cocked a brow. “Not sure that’s the response I was looking for.”
“Sorry. I was just thinking how similar we are. I feel the same. Part of me wants to grab on to this feeling, to jump in and just let myself enjoy it, enjoy the newness of something I didn’t think I would ever have, but you mean too much to me to do that. What if I’m wrong? What if our friendship is muddling things up and I realize I’m not demiromatic and I’m…the same as always. I can’t hurt you, Vince. I don’t have it in me, and then I also have my family to think about. If we move forward with this, and then it ends, I’ve hurt them again. And you’re my brother-in-law’s best friend. There are things we should consider.”