Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 96612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Nan had mentioned maybe going with her to yoga—she said that helped her when the memories got really bad. I wasn’t sure how that could possibly help, but I was willing to try. If nothing else, maybe it would wear me out enough to sleep.
We pulled up to the house and climbed out of the car just as Leo was coming down the steps. His face was already looking so much better than it had a week before.
“Hey, Bubby. Where you going?” I asked, moving toward him.
“Club.” He lifted his chin toward the clubhouse. “Big party tonight.”
“Really?” I asked skeptically, glancing sideways at the big gray building. “For what?”
“Think they’re letting Callie out tomorrow, so the boys are celebrating.”
“Oh.” I wondered if Cam would be there, then shook my head. He would be, of course he would be. “Do you want to see the ultrasound picture first?” I asked, digging into my purse.
“Sure.”
I passed the photos to Leo and watched as he shuffled through them, his face blank. I knew that he couldn’t tell what the hell he was looking at and I forced myself not to chuckle as he finally reached the last picture and his eyes got huge.
“Holy shit!” he blurted, looking up at me and then back down at the photo that was labeled with little arrows pointing to both babies.
“I know, right?” I laughed, my voice a little hoarse. “There’s two in there.”
“Holy shit, sissy.” He lifted his eyes again and looked at me seriously. “But everything’s good, right?”
“Yep. Everything’s fine.”
“Congratulations.” Leo’s face pulled up in a crooked smile, and even though my heart hurt to see it, I smiled back. His face wasn’t completely paralyzed on the left side, but there was definitely some nerve damage, and the doctors didn’t think it would ever get better. His smile would always be slightly uneven.
“Thanks, Bubby,” I said as he pulled me into a hug. “Don’t say anything yet, okay? I need to tell Cam first.”
“All right. I won’t.”
He squeezed me tight before pulling away and heading toward the clubhouse.
“You’re going to get huge, fast,” my mom called from the front porch where she was waiting for me. “We should probably go shopping soon.”
I laughed happily and glanced down at the pictures in my hand. I was having two babies. Holy shit.
* * *
“You going over there?” my mom asked quietly as we sat in lawn chairs in her backyard. The clubhouse was loud with music and laughter and I couldn’t help but glance that way every few minutes.
“I told him I wanted an abortion,” I replied softly, keeping my eyes on the gray building as I rested a hand on my belly, rubbing my thumb back and forth across my thin t-shirt. “When I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out and I told Cam I wanted an abortion.”
“Oh, Trix,” my mom sighed.
“I don’t think I meant it,” I continued, leaning my head back against my chair. “I was just so freaked out. Cam and I had just gotten together and I was graduating, but I didn’t have job yet—I was terrified.”
“I’m sorry, honey.”
“I just—I needed him to reassure me, but then when he did, it only made me angry. So I lashed out. I was so overwhelmed.”
“Is that when you started having problems?” Mom asked softly.
“Yeah. I told him that I wouldn’t do it, and he was so relieved.” My voice hitched as I thought about that day. “But he was still so angry with me. It was like he couldn’t see how badly it was tearing me apart.”
“Baby girl, I’m going to tell you something that I wish a woman had told me when I was young.” Mom reached out and grabbed my hand, lacing her fingers through mine. “When it comes to men—the right men—they are just as ferocious in the protection of their children as women. We always hear about mama bears, and the way a mother would fight for her kids—but we rarely hear the same for fathers. When it comes to you kids, there is nothing your father wouldn’t do to protect you—and that’s a blessing. I wouldn’t love him the way I do if that wasn’t the case.”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“But there’s a catch with that,” she said softly, rubbing her fingers over mine. “What if the person threatening his child is its mother? What then?”
“I just needed—”
“I know what you needed, Bellatrix,” Mom cut me off. “But you need to see it from his point of view. You were threatening to have an abortion. You’re lucky he ever spoke to you again.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I spat, my neck heating. “It’s my decision—”
“Bellatrix Colleen, what would you have done if you went to Cam telling him you were pregnant, and he told you he wanted you to get an abortion?”
My mouth snapped shut as my stomach rolled.