Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 76309 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76309 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
“Don’t sound so surprised. I can be shockingly Zen.”
“I’m sure, but come on, Ren.” He sounds dubious. Not that I can blame him. I’ve been a little ball of anxiety since he met me.
“I mean it. When we’re alone and doing this, I’m not going to let my brain take me to a million different places. I’m not going to worry about the future or the past. What you might’ve done, what might happen, none of it matters when we’re together. We have this.” I kiss his chest again.
He sighs. “That fucking kills me.”
“Yeah? Your heart’s still beating. You’ll be okay, big guy.”
“Brat.”
“Don’t start with that again.”
He tilts my chin up. “Brat.” He smirks and kisses me.
I bite his lip. He laughs, pulling back, as I curl up against him again. “I’m withholding sex, remember?”
“I seem to recall something about that.”
“I’m sticking to it.”
“But I’m very persuasive.”
“I’ll say the word. I mean it.”
“Go ahead.” He sighs, stretching. “I don’t know what you’re doing here with me, Ren, but I don’t want you going anywhere.”
“Good. I’m very comfortable at the moment. And I’m pretty sure you’re trying to get me to be your girlfriend.”
“Might be.”
I smile like an idiot. “Keep on trying, asshole.”
He kisses my hair. “I will.”
Good. I keep my eyes closed, breathing in time with him, and try to sleep.
Chapter 30
Renata
We spend a lazy afternoon together. Neither of us brings up Burian, though he’s lurking in the background of everything we do. I force myself not to think about him, but the longer I go without checking in on my friends and family, the more worry begins to break through the cracks.
Worry mixed with guilt.
How could I lie around enjoying myself with Lanzo when there’s a monster like Burian running around the city? When my friends might be in that monster’s jaws?
“I keep thinking we should be out there trying to find him,” I say, not specifying who I mean by him but Lanzo knows. We’re lying in a pool of sweat, my body still trembling from the last hour of very intense, slightly acrobatic sex. Well, acrobatic on his part.
“Maybe,” he says, sounding content. “But this is a lot better.”
“That’s not very reassuring.”
He sits up on an elbow. “Burian made us yesterday. Searching around blindly isn’t going to help anything. He’ll lie low for a little while anyway.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’ve been hunting him for a long time.” He lies back down, sighing. “Trust me, little Ren. I know the man well enough. We have time.”
“Easy for you to say.” I roll over and poke his chest. “It isn’t your grandfather’s life on the line.”
He tilts his from head side to side. “That’s true, but your family’s protected. Carmine’s guys are enough of a deterrence. I’m more worried about you.”
“Are you? Seems like you’re not, considering how hard you’ve been spanking me.” I lie back down, smiling at the pleasant ache on my backside. Bastard’s not exactly gentle.
“I spank you because I worry about you. It’s my way of showing affection.”
“Your affection is bizarre.”
“Isn’t everything about this bizarre?” He prods me with his elbow and rests a hand on my belly. Like he can’t keep his hands to himself for long.
“That’s true.” I crack my back and close my eyes. “I like it though. Most of the time, anyway. When you’re not being a prick.”
I can’t even tell him straight out how I feel without trying to bury it with an insult. How are we supposed to make this work if I can’t even communicate? But I’ve never been good at this feelings stuff, much less doing it in a highly stressful situation.
He’s quiet for a moment. I feel exposed and silly, wondering if maybe I’ve tipped my hand and now he’s going to finally pull away, until he says, “I like it too. More than I should.”
That makes me smile. My stomach turns in pleasant loops. “I knew it. You’re obsessed with me,”
“I can’t help myself. I’ve already started weaving a hair doll from your shower leavings.”
“That’s incredibly creepy.”
“I suppose I shouldn’t tell you about all the pictures I’ve taken of you while you sleep then.”
“Should I start running away?”
He laughs, stroking his fingers from my belly button to the bottoms of my breasts. “I’m serious though, Ren. I feel the same way you do, and I’ve never felt this way before.”
My eyebrows raise. “Really? You seem pretty well-versed in what to do in bed.”
“Fucking is one thing. I meant get involved.” He hesitates. “I’m slightly worried I’m not objective enough right now. You know, with this whole situation.”
I lace my fingers through his, holding his hand tightly. “I’m not sure how to take that.”
“It’s a compliment. I think.” He sits up, studying me. “I worry I’m going to be too cautious now that we’re becoming something.”