Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
I don’t know what to say. My jaw works and I stare at that familiar, serious face, pale now. Strained with pain, even. Five years older than me, big Chim. He’s been a mystery since I was a girl, always keeping to himself. But like me, he wanted to please Papa. Everyone wanted to please Colm Grady, most of all his children. Now we’re setting aside our beloved father’s memory for this. For some flimsy peace built on my own damn womb.
“You’re joking,” I finally manage to say.
“I’m not. I’m sorry.”
“Jayson Costa? The actual man that killed our father? You want me to go off and marry the fucker that did our Papa in?”
“Yes. I do.”
“Fuck you.” He doesn’t react. I step closer. “No. Seriously. Fuck you. There’s no way on God’s green earth I’ll ever marry Jayson Costa, not for any fuckin’ reason. You hear me, Rian? Absolutely no fuckin’ way.”
I’m so livid I could scream. My ears turn red, my cheeks flush, and my vision swims. My own flesh and blood, trying to sell me to a murdering bastard, to the piece of trash that caused this nightmare to begin with. It’s a waking nightmare.
“You have a choice,” Rian says as if I hadn’t just cussed him out in a graveyard. God forgive me, but I’m not at my best. “You always have a choice, Fallie. This isn’t what I wanted, God knows it, but we all sacrifice. We do what we have to for the clan.”
“Fuck off,” I say, waving a hand in the air. “Did you marry some foreign girl? Did you marry the woman that murdered your own father? I don’t think so.”
“No, you’re right. I know this is asking a lot. But if you think I haven’t sacrificed, you’re even more blind than I thought.” Rian steps forward, staring at me, his usual mask cracked a touch. The sorrow in his expression feels like a hammer against my spine. “I married the gun as a lad. I grew up killing and waiting to die. That’s still all I know. The pride of the clan. My life for the blood. Then Papa dies and I’m named chief, and now I’ve got to find a way to end this madness before more of our people die and we end up wiped out completely. You think I like talking with those American bastards? God damn them, Fallie, I want to kill them all, but swallowing my pride’s all I can do.”
“More like selling mine.” I know it isn’t fair. I can tell it hurts him the moment the words leave my mouth, but I’m so damn mad. “I know, it’s tough, the boys go out and fight while the women stay behind to suffer through it all. Only you’re not asking me to pick up a gun, Chim. At least that would be doing something. No, you’re asking me to give myself away to some bastard I hate for the rest of my life. You know that? Might as well kill me now.”
He’s silent. Only stares at me. I breathe hard, sucking in air. Why the hell’s this happening? Now of all times? I’m still gutted from Papa’s death, barely holding on to my sanity, clinging to the clan tighter than I ever have before, and now Rian’s asking me to do something so sick and twisted it makes me want to puke my guts up.
It’s an impossible choice.
All I have to do is give myself away to a monster and I can save everyone I know.
Well, fuck.
When I start to think of it like that, I soften a touch. I’m still pissed, but I turn and pace, ignoring the soldiers Darragh and Padraig as they studiously pretend not to notice me. Did they hear about this? Might’ve, since Padraig’s close with Rian, and Darragh’s his cousin. The fuckers came to my execution. For my own protection.
“How do you know it’ll work?” I turn on Rian. Rage in my heart, but it’s not a forest fire anymore. Only a little ember, burning away. All the clan’s dead keeping it lit, but all the clan’s living keeping me from losing my mind. “They could just kill me and keep coming for us.”
“They could,” he agrees. “But we have other deals in place. Business relationships that’ll tie the families tightly together. The marriage is the last step.”
“You’re serious about this. I expect you’ll be wanting some nieces and nephews?”
“They’ll be Costas. I’d rather you didn’t.”
I stare at him, eyes wide, then burst out laughing. His lips press together in a grim smile. It’s not really funny, but hell, I’m too fucked up to care.
“It’ll save the clan, huh?” I calm myself and lean against a huge pillar attached to the mausoleum. “What a fucking pitch.”
“I know, Fallie.” He leans next to me. “I hate it too.”