Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
“You don’t,” he says, cupping the back of my head gently, careful of the tender spot. He pulls me to him and kisses me, and my heart races with confusion, blood pounding in my ears. My breath hitches when his tongue touches mine, and I don’t understand why I’m allowing this. Why I’m kissing him back.
It’s wrong. I shouldn’t feel this way, especially after what he did, but my body is not my own when he touches me, and I want him. I want this, and I want him.
How the fuck am I turned on?
He undoes his slacks and shifts his grip to my hips to lift me so I’m straddling him. I pull at his sweater, needing to be flesh to flesh with him. I’m clumsy, and he helps me tug it off. I glimpse the bandage on his side but I’m quickly distracted when he grips my hips, fingers kneading flesh, and meets my eyes before he pushes into me.
That thrust has me crying out, the pain intense, the pleasure creeping along its edges almost unbearable.
I close my hands around his shoulders as he takes me, fucking me from below while kissing me and kneading my sore ass.
“Fuck, Madelena,” he says against my lips, biting them before he shifts our position, flipping me onto my back on the bed. Again, I see him wince, but he just groans, pushing through the pain he must be feeling and climbing on top of me. His thrusts build in intensity as he rises and crashes against me, rocking into me.
I whimper and cling to him, release so close. I close my eyes and bite my lip.
“Open your eyes,” he says. “I want to watch you. Open your eyes and look at me.”
I do, and our eyes lock, and I don’t know what it is about this moment because I should fucking hate him. After that humiliation, I should despise him. But as I look into those dark eyes, all I can think is that I want him. I want to be here beneath him. I want to feel his strength around me. His weight on top of me. I feel so strangely close to him, closer than I’ve ever felt to another human being.
“I’m going to come,” I cry out.
“Come, sweetheart. Come for me.” He bites my lower lip and, eyes open, I come undone, watching him as he watches me. He thickens inside me and a moment later, he’s coming too, and I cling to him because I want this. There’s nothing else in the world right now but this. Us like this. Him and me with nothing between us.
When it’s over, I lay boneless on the bed. We lie in silence for a long moment as we catch our breath before he retreats to the bathroom to return with a warm washcloth. He cleans me, then lifts me to lay me down so my head is on the pillow.
I lie on my back while he props his chin on his elbow and looks me over. When one hand slides down over my stomach toward my legs, I think he’s going to cover us, but he doesn’t. His face grows serious as his gaze follows his fingers. I hold my breath and watch the top of his head.
He nudges my legs apart a little, fingertips coming to trace the fine lines cut high on my thighs.
I close my hand over his to stop him. “Don’t.”
He meets my gaze but then, ignoring my plea, shifts his attention back to my thigh and continues.
A tear slides down over my temple.
“What does this do for you?” he asks.
I swallow hard. How do I explain this? It makes no sense. So, I shift my gaze away instead of answering.
“No, Madelena. Look at me. Don’t hide from me.” He touches my cheek to turn my face to his. “Tell me.”
I shake my head, suck my lower lip in, feeling my face burn. Feeling exposed.
“Tell me. I want to understand.”
“It concentrates everything,” I hear myself say. “Makes it manageable. I guess.”
He is quiet for a moment. I think he’s processing. “When was the last time?” He must see there are no fresh scars.
“A while ago. Two years maybe.”
“Good,” he says with a gentle smile. “When you feel like you need to cut, you come to me, understand?”
I wipe away tears. “So you can spank it out of me?” I say half-joking, half I don’t know what.
“Maybe.” He grins, pushes my hands away, and wipes away the tears himself. “If it ends like this, why not?” He kisses my mouth, then the tip of my nose before reaching to turn out the light. He draws the blankets up to cover us. “I’m glad you’re safe, Madelena.”
“Thank you for coming to get me,” I say, meaning it. Feeling it in my chest.