Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 110671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Adeline hesitated. “Justin isn’t as easygoing as Jayden. He frightens easily, and both Luis and I will be in Seattle. We can’t come get him.”
“I understand,” Gray answered. “It’s up to you. You know his needs, and you know me.”
“It’s not about your capability,” she reassured. “I loved having you here—and unlike my dear son, you have patience in spades.”
Gray chuckled. Abel had volunteered at the same time—for a short while, at least.
“I’m thinking about your anxiety,” Adeline went on. “You can’t postpone your recovery without it coming back to bite you in the butt. I talk to your mother almost every day, you know. She’s worried too.”
“What?” Gray frowned.
Adeline shifted her weight from one foot to the other and closed the front door. “Anybody can see that you love Jayden. You’re great for him, and you don’t hesitate a second to go the extra mile. If I didn’t believe you would make a terrific parent for him, I wouldn’t recommend the daily visits.” She took a breath. “With that said, by always putting other people before you, it’s possible you shove your own problems aside. And it doesn’t have to be a conscious choice. I’m also not saying this is how it has to be—I’m saying it’s a risk you should be mindful of.”
Gray nodded slowly, getting it. Darius had told him that running from something didn’t always involve being on the run physically.
“How do I balance that with the fact that taking care of Jayden genuinely makes me feel better?”
Adeline’s eyes shone with sympathy. “Your psychologist would know that way better than me.”
Fucking great. “Well, tomorrow is part of my work toward getting better and being able to handle crowds again,” Gray said. “We’re gonna go skating with the twins when they get out of school, then eat an early dinner at Darius’s restaurant. Having Jayden with us gives me something to focus on when I start becoming overwhelmed, so if you believe I’m capable of watching Justin, I would like to invite him along. For the first time ever, Jayden can be the child he is and spend time with friends, and I don’t want to deprive him of that. Additionally,” he said, “you know at least the gist of my history with my old coach, who I will probably be forced to face tomorrow. No amount of meltdowns from a four-year-old who may or may not be autistic could be worse.”
Adeline appeared to be struggling against a smile. “Sometimes I forget how mature you are compared to Abel. Don’t tell him I said that.”
Gray mustered a smirk. Hey, if Adeline and Mom could gossip…
“I will tell Justin he can join you tomorrow,” Adeline said. “Given how many stories Jayden has told him, I’m sure he’ll be happy—in his own way—to spend the day with you guys.”
“Thanks.” Gray nodded. Then he checked the time on his phone. Gabriel and Gid should be home from practice by now. He might as well drive over instead of calling. He needed his gear too.
Texting with them was useless, because it was always “Idk, ask Gid” this and “LOL talk to Gabriel” that. However, if you got them both at the same time in the same place, they only exchanged a look before coming up with a final response to something.
“Lemme say goodnight to Jayden, and then I’ll talk to the twins about tomorrow,” he said to Adeline. “I know they’ll say yes, but I wanna hear if we should rent skates for the boys in town or if they can hook us up.”
“Of course. Sounds good. And you have Justin’s shoe size, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Gray hated to admit it, but the most overwhelming part of recovery was still juggling friends and family. He used to think nothing of it. Hell, he’d always loved having a lot of people around him. Brothers, friends, Isla, Mom, work, school, hockey, the occasional party. Rinse and repeat. He’d spend a day with Abel, text buddies from the team, duck out for a quick lunch with Mom, get back to Abel and hit up the rink with a bunch of others, then go home and study for an exam the following day.
The mere idea of that now was exhausting.
He suspected it was the reason Darius hadn’t invited Gray to any family dinners. Not that Darius attended those often, but he’d stepped out a few evenings to see his folks—then once to have dinner at his sister and brother-in-law’s place.
Gray was only relieved, possibly because Darius never made him feel like he wasn’t welcome. When they spoke of their families, there was usually a point where Darius said something along the lines of, “When you’re ready, I’ll introduce you…” or “You’ll see for yourself soon.”
As Gray passed the school area in Ponderosa, he figured he might as well tick another friend off the list. He didn’t want Abel to feel neglected. Gray hit call and inserted one of his earbuds, then set his phone down next to him on the seat.