Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
He swallowed down another gulp of water and watched Fifi who—having given up on scoring any scraps from the table—was now sniffing her way around the lush garden. The entire front of the property was surrounded by frameless glass fencing to preserve the magnificent views, so Fifi was quite safe to have a wander around. Even the pool was fenced off.
“I understand,” Lilah said. And she really did. Even though she had long ago reconciled herself to the idea that Ben didn’t—couldn’t, or wouldn’t—love her, she still appreciated the insight as to why that was so. Appreciated that it wasn’t something in her that he found inherently unlovable.
“I don’t think you do, Lilah. I’m trying to tell you that—”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
Her words brought whatever he’d been about to say to an abrupt halt and he stared at her in absolute shock and no small amount of horror.
Well, that was flattering.
“Shut your mouth, Ben… you’re catching flies.”
“Uh, but… how?”
“Really? You’re asking me how? You? After that massive wet spot you left on the bed in the Maldives?” He went bright red at her answer and squirmed in his seat.
“I thought you said it was impossible at that stage of your cycle.”
“I’m pretty sure my exact word was ‘unlikely’. Nothing is ever impossible.”
“So, what… how sure…?”
“I’ve missed a couple of periods, been nauseous, had a positive home pregnancy test result. I’m going to the gynie tomorrow to find out for sure.”
“But you think it’s…”
“A distinct possibility, yes,” she concluded for him. He looked pale and sweaty and Lilah wasn’t entirely sure what to make of his reaction. Then again, she wasn’t sure how she felt about this either.
“So what happens if you are?” he asked, his eyes dropping to her stomach and she swore she could see something close to longing in that gaze.
“We co-parent?”
“Co-parent?”
“You know…? Shared custody, two homes, that kind of thing.”
“That’s not ideal.”
“It’s all we have. Millions of couples do it.”
“We could live together.”
“Ben, that’s not a good idea.”
“Why not? We could live right here. We could raise her together; we could sing Sweet Child O’ Mine to her if she’s cranky or can’t sleep. We could both be there to pick her up when she falls, and praise her when she succeeds.”
“And what? Be like your parents? Trapped in a cold and sterile marriage? Together only for the sake of our child? Why would you wish that on your own child when you know how it affected you?”
“Or we could be like your parents.”
“I don’t know how my parents were. I have only stories, told to me by someone who wanted me to have the happiest memories of them. I want us to figure this out, Ben. In a way that will be best for our baby.”
“Us. Together. That would be best.”
“No, it won’t. And you of all people should know that. Look, I get it. I understand why you don’t believe in love. But I do not want my child raised in the same environment that you were, and I do not want him going out into the world with that same belief that romantic love doesn’t exist, just because we set a piss poor example for him. And you shouldn’t want that either. It’s better if he grows up with two loving parents who are better apart than together. Parents who back each other up, and respect each other.”
He shoved his way back from the table and stood up to glower down at her.
“I feel like you’re fucking taking what I told you completely out of context and using it against me to back up this shitty decision about our kid that you already seem to have made!”
“No, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m sorry if you think that. But even before you told me about them, I’d already decided that co-parenting in separate homes would be best for all of us.”
“You’ve decided? I should get a damned say in this as well.”
“Ben, be reasonable.”
“What if I told you I love you?” he threw the question at her wildly, almost desperately and this time, Lilah was the one who gaped at him.
“Seriously? You’re playing the what if game with me again? Why? Because naïve, stupid Lilah fell for it once before, maybe you can get away with the exact same hypothetical again? And fool me into thinking it’s some kind of declaration of love?”
“Fuck.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair and shook his head. “That’s not what I’m doing. I do love you.”
“Yes, I know,” she said, sarcasm adding a sting to her voice. “But you’re not in love with me. We’ve had this conversation before, Ben.”
“No, damn it. Lilah, I am in love with you.”
She laughed, the sound wild and hysterical, and she finally surged to her feet too, absolutely furious with him.