Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 85135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“So you cheated on him, but really…you did him a favor?” I try and clarify.
“Exactly. It’s good that he caught me. He never had a clue about you and me.” She laughs. “Was happy for me to go away with a girlfriend skiing.” She sighs. “Honestly, I think it was a huge red flag. If he’d been more attentive—cared more—he would have never let me go skiing. Even if I had been going away with a girlfriend, the après ski in these places—he knows what it’s like. It’s like he wanted to turn a blind eye to it.”
“So, it’s his fault you cheated? Because he let you go skiing? Or was away for the night?”
“Not his fault exactly. It’s nobody’s fault. Assigning blame is so…” She gestures vaguely at nothing in particular.
I narrow my eyes, because from where I’m standing, it seems pretty clear that blame is absolutely warranted. The fault in this situation rests with one person and one person only, despite her refusal to admit it.
She sees the expression on my face and lets out a huff. “I mean, I can’t help it. You get it, don’t you?” She reaches out for me, but I take a step back and she pouts. “You’re not still holding a grudge, are you? We need to stick together, people like you and me. We’re wanderers. We’re not meant for monogamy—in partners, in jobs, in life. And if we forget who we are, we end up hurting people.”
Anxiety spreads through me. The veins in my neck throb.
“We are not the same.” She’s a monster. I don’t know how I missed it for as long as I did. Maybe she put on a good act.
She laughs. “Of course we are! ‘Not the marrying kind’—that’s how they would have said it in the olden days. The sooner we accept it and stick together, the better it is for the others—the ones who are the marrying kind.” She smiles. “That way, no one gets hurt. I’ve learned my lesson. No more engagements. No more trying to settle down because I think this one is The One—none of them are The One. There is no one for people like us. I’ve accepted that now.” She smiles again. “I’m gasping for a glass of wine. Hit me up on Insta if you want to hook up. No more offering me a key though.” She cackles, pats me on the arm and heads into the pub, leaving me reeling.
I walk briskly toward Nathan’s house. The last thing I want is Coral bringing her wine outside to continue our conversation. I never want to see that woman again. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided the two of us were compatible. We’re not. We’re very different people. For a start, I’ve never cheated on anyone. But then again, there haven’t been many people to cheat on. Almost all my relationships have been casual. That’s probably why hearing my brothers talking about Vivian and me as if we’re really engaged and about to embark on a life together was so uncomfortable.
A voice in the back of my head tells me my discomfort with my brothers—and Coral—doesn’t have anything to do with the newness of my relationship with Vivian. I know I’m not casually cruel like Coral, but part of me wonders if I’m built for monogamy the way my brothers are. Can I really do what they do and be okay with a more traditional way of life?
I’ve deliberately not thought too far ahead when it comes to Vivian. I haven’t had to, since our relationship has always carried an expiration date. Except, if what we have isn’t a fake relationship…where does that leave us? What are her expectations?
“Fuck,” I scream out. Why did I take her to Norfolk to meet my family? Surely that built expectations—ones I’m not sure I can meet. Am I being casual with Vivian’s heart in the same way Coral was with her ex-fiancé’s?
Nausea rises in my stomach. Coral and I aren’t the same.
Are we?
I like Vivian far too much to hurt her. Especially after everything Matt did. How could anyone endure two betrayals? The deeper Vivian and I get, the more I run the risk of doing the exact thing I set out not to do: break her heart.
THIRTY
Vivian
Even though I’ve only known him a few weeks, waking up without Beau feels wrong. The bed feels far too big. I was working late last night and he had to be up early this morning. It didn’t make sense for him to stay over. At least that’s what I told myself when Beau replied to my text saying he was going to stay at Nathan and Madison’s after spending the day with his brothers.
I get it. And actually, it’s helped me get a little perspective. I was just being paranoid that Beau was getting off on the thrill of being recognized. I know he’s not that guy. I can’t let Matt’s betrayal poison my relationship with Beau. I won’t let Matt destroy any more than he already has.