Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 85135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tommy stand and Betty pull him back down again. I can tell he’s just itching to escort Matt out. But I won’t give Matt the satisfaction.
“Do you hear the hypocrisy of what you’re saying?” I ask.
“I’m not being a hypocrite. Okay technically, we were still together when Amanda and I started sleeping together, but things had gotten stale between us, you’ve got to admit that. We needed to shake things up. Just because we were technically broken up when you started dating this British dude.”
He pauses, which gives me a moment to realize how ludicrous this situation is, and how few feelings I have in this moment. I’m not even as angry as Tommy is. Even though I spent twelve years of my life sharing everything with Matt, growing up with him, I feel so little for him. It’s like I barely know him.
“Have you actually slept with him?” Matt asks. “Or was it all a publicity thing? Am I still the only one you’ve been with?” He looks at me under his eyelashes like he always did when he suggested we have sex.
My stomach churns.
“It’s none of your business,” I reply. “You know what’s in the public eye and that’s all you need to know.”
A huge rush of need surges inside me. But it’s not for Matt. It’s for Beau. I miss him. I wonder if he’s back from Finland. Does he ever think of me?
“Vivian?” Matt says.
“What?” I completely zoned out for a second there.
“Shall we have dinner? Tonight? We can talk about getting back on track.”
“No, Matt. We won’t have dinner tonight. Or any night. And there will be no getting back on track.”
He sits back in his chair. “What? I’ve apologized.”
“And I listened. But it doesn’t change anything.”
“You’re trying to tell me that just because you’re with some guy you’ve known for five minutes, we’re over?”
“No, I’m saying, it wouldn’t matter whether I was with Beau or not, we’re over. You’re not the man I thought you were, and you’re not a man I wish to spend any time with. Now if there’s nothing else, I’d like you to leave.”
“So you just want to walk away?” he says. “That’s it? Twelve years down the drain.”
I realize that even if Matt hadn’t been selling stories to the press, we should have split up a long time ago. Perhaps it was just because we were so used to each other, but his mannerisms, the way he treats people, the arrogance with which he waltzed in here and expected to win me back with a half-assed apology—the man didn’t even bring me a coffee for crying out loud. I’ve known all these things about Matt for a long time, but I’d minimized them, tried to make excuses for his behavior. Now I see those excuses for what they were: willful ignorance of his true character. Selling stories to the paps was just an extension of who he is—who he’s been all along—and I don’t want any part of any of it.
“I should have walked away a long time ago.” I glance over at the security guard and give him a nod. “Security will see you out.”
I stand and Matt does too. “Are you serious right now? You’re just walking away from a future together?”
“I’m not walking, I’m running,” I say, and head toward the sofas where Tommy and Betty are sitting, their mouths slightly agape.
Matt shrugs off the security guard’s hold on his upper arm and steps toward me. That’s all it takes for the guard to take both Matt’s arms, twist them behind his back and march him out of the suite, with cries of “Get the fuck off me! I’m going to call the fucking police,” echoing behind him as he’s escorted out.
The door closes and Tommy and Betty jump to their feet.
“Are you okay?” Tommy asks. “You handled that like a champ. That guy is a nutjob.”
“Yeah, he thought you were just going to accept his apology and go back to business as usual,” Betty says.
“It was weirdly good to see him,” I say.
“What?” Tommy asks.
Betty nods. “Closure.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Maybe it’s closure. But it’s like I finally saw the Matt I should have seen a long time ago. The man as he really was, without all the history between us and without the concerns I had that I wouldn’t ever find anyone to trust again if he left. I know it’s only been a few months, but a lot has happened since then. I’ve grown up.”
“You thinking about Beau?” Betty asks.
“Always,” I say. “But we’ve just got to move forward.”
“You should put that in a song,” Betty says. “I know you didn’t want to do it with Matt and I totally get that. But even if you don’t ever make what you write public, I think it would be good for you to figure out your feelings by playing some music.”