Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
I’d never shared this with anyone but my wife.
She knew the truth.
My angel.
“The beeping sound of the heart monitor and the rhythmic hissing sound of the ventilator echoed all around me. Filling me with some kind of hope. Sometimes when it’s late at night, I can still hear them. I can still see her looking so small and delicate, holding her favorite blanket. The one I had sent for her first birthday.”
I was a horrible father figure to my niece. I tried to make up for it with her children, however, I couldn’t forgive myself for all the shit I put her through. It didn’t matter how much time went by, how much older she became. I still remembered her like the little girl who wanted me to hug her and tell her everything would be okay.
I refused to lie to her. Instead, I made her think the world was a cruel, cruel place.
Forgive me, Daisy. I just wanted better for you.
“I pulled up a chair beside her hospital bed and took a seat. Taking in her beautiful face that reminded me so much of Amari’s. Reaching for her hand, I lifted it and placed it in my grasp. My hands were so big compared to hers, they swallowed them whole. I bowed my head in shame over Daisy’s broken, bruised, cut up body. Sobbing for the last time in my life. Saying goodbye to my sister was the final farewell to what was left of my heart and soul, Father. I was now hollow inside. It was easier that way. I needed to turn off my humanity. No longer wanting to feel anything because everyone who mattered to me was gone. After that day, there was nothing left of me. I embraced The Devil. I didn’t just make an alliance with him, Father. I became him.”
“Son, God works in mysterious ways. Please continue.”
“I watched over my wife from the moment I learned of her existence. I protected her, cared for her, loved her when I didn’t think it was possible for a man like me to love anyone. She fought for me, and I spent years pushing her away until I couldn’t do it anymore. I faked my death when I was fifty-eight years old to be with her. She was much younger than me, by twenty years. I had my first kid when I was fifty-eight years old. I never wanted to have children, to bring innocent lives into this world. I did it anyway. I faked my death to have a family. To be a father. Everything I didn’t deserve. I took it anyway. I’m a selfish man, Father. My life alone proves that. Up until seven months ago, I hadn’t killed anyone for over twenty-two years. I thought that world was behind me. I thought I’d escaped the purgatory I was born into. I thought the blood on my hands was finally clean of all the souls I owned. I was wrong. So very wrong.”
I shook my head, overwhelmed with all my sins.
“Love saved me, Father, but love condemned my son to the world I fought so unbelievably hard to protect him from. He’s my worst nightmare come to life. I’ve seen myself in him since the first time I held him in my arms. My blood only knows violence, and it was just a matter of time for my genes to kick in. The night my daughter was taken is what started his demise. There was no holding him back, he was old enough to make his own choices. To burn in Hell beside his old man and the ancestors before him. They summoned Cruz, and in the end…I lost the battle for his soul. “Now here I am, Father, wanting to do the right thing.”
“You can, son.”
“These are my sins for which I repent.”
"Our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath left power to his Church to absolve all sinners who truly repent and believe in him, of his great mercy forgive thee thine offenses. And by his authority committed to me, I absolve thee from all thy sins.”
“Amen.”
“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.”
“His mercy endures forever.”
“Your sins are forgiven. Go in peace, my son.”
“Thanks be to God. For which I am about to commit more sins in the name of my daughter.”
Motioning the sign of the cross, I spoke with conviction of my own execution…
“Even if it costs me my life.”
Chapter 33
—Cruz—
“I’m convinced you’re on a suicide fucking mission. If you thought for even a second I wouldn’t have figured it out, you’ve underestimated me.”
There was something about this fucking prick that rubbed me the wrong way from the moment I saw him at Sienna’s graduation party.
“Did you know who Adriana Martinez was before you participated in her kidnapping? You see…” I leaned forward, placing my elbows on my knees. “I’m trying to understand your thought process. I can’t imagine you didn’t see how your actions wouldn’t bring my retribution. So tell me, Giovanni, where is she?”