Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“How’d that turn out?”
“You’ve met them. Sort of. Ash and Max. They’re married now. It’s kind of a thing.”
“A thing?”
“Yeah. I’m a magnet for guys wanting to explore their sexuality, and it’s kind of hard for me to turn down. Even though I know I should.”
“Why?”
Jordan shrugs.
“Come on, you’ve gotta give me more than that.”
“Okay, but you can’t judge me.”
I hold up my hands. “No judgment here. I am a safe space.”
Jordan blows out a loud breath. “There’s something alluring about being someone guys want to experiment with. I love first times. I love making a presumably straight man weak in the knees, and I love it when it works out and they embrace their true identity or sexuality.”
“Okay, that’s not as skeevy as I thought it was going to be.”
“You said no judgment!”
I laugh. “Sorry. How do you even … like broach the subject? Isn’t it weird hitting on straight people who have no interest?”
“That’s the thing—I don’t actively hit on them. You know how flirty I can be. All it takes is a few offhanded comments or innuendo, and then they come after me. And yeah, it can go bad. It has gone bad. A lot. I’ve been called every slur under the sun, kicked out of guys’ apartments practically naked after they invited me there, they kissed me, they wanted me, and then suddenly realize I’m a threat to their true masculinity or what-the-fuck-ever.”
“Shit. Has anyone ever hurt you?”
“Surprisingly no, but at six four, I pretty much tower over most people. If I was smaller, maybe it would’ve gone that way. Sometimes, the guy will have no problems being with me but then go back to their hetero life and chalk it up to their One Gay Phase, and whatever. If that’s how they want to play it, then that’s up to them.”
I can’t help feeling sorry for him. “Why do you do it, then?”
Fondness shines in his eyes. “Because when it opens up someone’s mind, it’s breathtaking to watch. The risk is worth the payoff.”
“But I mean, if guys do go there, it’s not like they’re completely straight to begin with, right?”
“I have my own little theory that everyone has the potential to be fluid. All they have to do is reject the toxic ideals we’re fed as kids.”
“So in your mind, no one is straight.”
“It’s an amazing place to live. If you want to join me on this side of societal expectations, I’ll welcome you with warm lips and a big di—”
And he’s back.
“You’re ridiculous,” I say.
“Yet, you can’t not think about it. Probably just like you can’t stop thinking about that kiss earlier or the slight interest I felt below the belt.”
Damn it. I was waiting for him to call me on it. “I’ll admit I liked it more than I thought I would, but I wouldn’t get too excited about that. I was really freaking out that it was going to be bad. When it wasn’t, it was a relief.”
“I could give you more … relief if that’s what you want.”
“If these are the types of lines you use on others, I’m surprised you have sex at all.”
“Oh, I reckon I can get you to enjoy it.”
“You’re that confident?” I want to shove him away and dismiss it like I do all his jokes, but I am thinking about it.
His lips are plump and shiny pink, like he’s wet them by running his tongue over them.
“Does it ever work out?” I ask. “Long term, I mean.”
“Well, I’m single, so what does that tell you?” For a split second, something like sadness flashes in his eyes, but then it’s gone. “I prefer it that way, anyway. Usually, I let them go with well-wishes and tell them to spread their wings and their legs and go fuck as many guys as possible and find their forever one.”
“Charming.”
He smiles. “I am a good-luck charm, you know.”
“Oh really?”
“Yep. Basically, every baby bi guy I’ve hooked up with inevitably marries the next guy they’re with.”
“Bullshit.”
“True story. It’s like I’m cursed, but I’m happy for my conquests. Like I told you, relationships in Hollywood never work out. They’re better off with someone who can be with them long term. I get the fun parts, and their future partner gets the relationship crap.”
Why don’t I believe him suddenly?
All that talk about hooking up with so-called straight guys because he likes first times felt genuine. When he first told me his and Ben’s relationship was exclusive with that tiny wince, I thought it was real, but now, after getting to know him a little better, I might have misread him.
“I understand the Hollywood thing, I do, but what about the guys downstairs? They prove true love can happen in this industry,” I point out.
“Wait until they’ve been together for forty years before you start throwing around that they have true love. True love is …” He shakes his head. “Not for me.”