Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“That doesn’t sound like a queer issue but an asshole issue,” Ryder says.
“Wait, are you saying it wasn’t your choice to give up Coby?” Harley asks. “I thought you’d decided to move on or something. I didn’t realize—”
“They blindsided me. I had the script, we were in contract negotiations, and then bam. They signed someone else on the same night Ben threatened to ruin Jordan’s career. I …” I sigh. “I don’t know what to do. Jordan’s basically ignoring me, only doing our scenes together, in character. It feels like I haven’t spoken to him in days, but we’ve been right next to each other. I’ve never … No one has ever made me feel the way he does, and …”
They’re all blinking at me.
“Shit, I’m getting all mushy and crap. Ignore me—”
“No,” Harley says. “Bring on the mush. It sounds to me like you’ve fallen for him.”
I have. I really have. I thought I was falling, but only a couple of days without him has made me irrationally emotional.
“Want us to beat up Ben?” Mason asks.
I laugh. “That won’t bring more tabloid mania on us at all.”
Harley purses his lips. “How powerful is Benjamin Randt, anyway?”
“Well, he got me fired from a franchise that was all about me. So, yeah, I’d say pretty powerful. I can’t ask Jordan to give up Hollywood for me.”
“He can’t let his ex dictate his life, though, either,” Ryder says.
I groan. “Ugh. I know. But I can’t force him to risk everything for a relationship he still thinks is going to end. He says he’s giving us a real shot, but I don’t think there’s been enough time for him to actually do it.”
Brix enters with the coffee, and after a few sips, I start to calm down a little.
“Okay, let’s get this song recorded.” I turn my attention back to the sheet music in front of me and read over the lyrics and actually pay attention. “Wait …” I glance at Harley. “Is this what I think it is?”
“My coming out song? Yep. I figured it was fitting as our first single on the album, seeing as we will all be out. It’s the perfect way—”
“To ruin our careers?” I half joke. I’ve already lost my movie franchise. If I lose Eleven as well … Then again, if Jordan turned up and asked me to leave Eleven, I’d probably do it.
Priorities change, and all I can think about in this moment is Jordan’s and my future.
“It’s possible,” Harley says. “But we need to remember why we’re doing this album. Why we’re getting back together. We want to make a difference in this industry, don’t we?”
The rest of us nod.
I came back because I missed them all, but now that I know what it’s like to be on this side of the line, I want to help make a difference to all the young queer and questioning people out there.
Harley talks about the music video we’re gonna shoot for it, an all-seasons kind of thing. He wants to use some of the footage we shot in Montana—the goofing-off parts where we weren’t singing—and he wants Brix to feature in it but in silhouette to still keep his identity somewhat secret.
Harley’s animated and so damn happy it radiates from him, and I’m not jealous. Nope, not jealous at all.
Who am I kidding? I’m almost resentful at how jealous I am. Happy for Harley and Brix, but … so fucking jealous.
I miss Jordan already.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jordan
I didn’t realize how hard it would be to keep my distance from Blake, and after only a couple of days, I know I can’t walk away from him and what we have.
All those times I thought this could be different, deep down I knew they never could be. But with Blake … I don’t even know how it’s different. It just is.
I’ve been good at keeping my distance and making Ben think that he’s won. It’s been painful, and I admit, I caved last night and went to the hotel only to find the key no longer worked and Blake had checked out. It was frustrating because I miss Blake more than I thought I would, but it was lucky too.
I keep telling myself we only have to do this dance until filming wraps. Until then, I’m doing everything in my power to make sure I can keep both him and my career in film.
Sneaking around is too risky because after finding out Ben’s the one leaking all the shit about Blake and me, I wouldn’t put it past him to hire someone to follow me. And isn’t that a kick in the teeth? I went from respecting him as a filmmaker, a person, and as a boyfriend to … this. Mistrust and paranoia about being followed.
Fuck Benjamin Randt.
I have a few ideas up my sleeve on how I can save my ass and keep seeing Blake, but I’m really hoping the assignment I gave Jojo works out. It’s the least controversial, and it doesn’t involve public displays of “This is none of your business, but I’m going to do an exclusive interview to tell my side of the story” type thing.