Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Initially, I avoided emotional attachment because of the potential risk. Not so much to my body—that had already been run through the gamut of abuse—but to my heart. I was terrified that, after surviving the emotional train-wreck caused by the rape, heartbreak would be another burden I wouldn’t be able to handle.
Those worries had been unnecessary. Far from heartbroken, I seemed to be an emotional cactus, dry and parched of any of the emotions that led to love. With the first few guys I messed around with, I’d nervously waited, in the quiet moments after sex, for the feelings to come. The rush and exhilaration. The high. The butterflies. The endorphins that turned ordinary people into lovesick idiots. None had ever come. Eventually, I’d stopped worrying and gave up on the feeling altogether, accepting that that part of me might have broken that night in the barn.
Ian flipped his keys in his hand and scowled at me. “It’s just a date, Bell. I’m not proposing.”
“Oh, I know. I just … I’m not looking for anything serious.” I stood on my tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss on his lips. “Are you okay with that?”
“I guess I’ll have to be.” He frowned. “Since the burnt toast didn’t appeal to you, want to go grab something quick. Subs?”
I pretended to swoon. “Subs? Like, with meat AND bread?” I fluttered my eyelashes. “You are an Adonis of sexual temptation.”
“So I’ve been told. I also issue A’s for exemplary blow jobs.”
“I already earned my A.” I stuck out my tongue. “And … I’m going to pass on your gourmet lunch offer. But after class next week, I’ll let you spell out my homework assignment with your tongue.”
Still smiling, I wiggled my fingers at him and pulled the door shut, jogging down the steps and into the warm Nevada sunshine. I let out a hard breath. Prior to his date night invite, I had liked the ease of Ian and assumed he was hooking up with several other coeds. But maybe I’d read him wrong. Maybe he wasn’t a man whore wanting a casual lay. Which sucked, because Meredith had been right, Ian checked off all the boxes in an ideal man. He’d be an ideal boyfriend, if I was looking for that. But… I checked my feelings. Nope, still repelled by the idea of love.
Pulling my sunglasses from my bag, I headed for my car, grateful for the newly-fixed air conditioning. Glancing at my watch, I quickened my pace. I didn’t have much time to get home, shower and change before work.
I pulled out of the complex and was halfway to the main road before I realized I’d forgotten my phone. I pulled a quick U-turn and almost hit a black Tahoe, also on its way out. I kept going, seeing Ian’s Jeep, and slowed down when I saw his hand reaching out, waving at me.
“Forget this?” He held my cell out, and I shifted into park and half crawled out of the window to grab it.
“Yep. Thanks.” I worked my way back in and waved. “See you in class.”
He nodded, and his Jeep bounced a little on its shocks as he bumped it into drive.
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, I juggled a giant Styrofoam cup in one hand and eased my car out of the McDonald’s drive-thru, the nose of it almost clipped by some prick in a Tesla. I craned my head forward, looking down the road, and noticed the dark SUV, two cars down, parallel parked under a tree. There was an opening in the traffic, and I pulled out in a screech of almost-bald tires. Settling into my lane, I glanced back at the SUV. As I watched, it pulled out into traffic, four cars back.
I set down the cup and put both hands on the wheel, darting my gaze between the road ahead and the rearview mirror.
It was ridiculous to think it was the same Tahoe from Ian’s neighborhood, ridiculous to think that it had sat and waited for me to finish my fast food order, and extra ridiculous for me to think that it was now following me.
I got in the left lane and it did nothing. I waited until the last possible moment, then switched back to the right lane and whipped off on the exit ramp.
The Tahoe continued straight, and I let out a hard breath. See? Nothing. I was being an idiot.
I was humming down the road when I spotted it again, materializing out of nowhere as if I hadn’t just shot off in a different direction, not three miles ago.
I reached for my phone, driving with my knees as I dialed the number and put the cell on speakerphone.
Rick answered on the fifth ring. “Hey.”
I blew out a frustrated breath. “This is probably nothing, but you were the only person I knew to call.”