Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
“The food is ready. May I make your plate?” Finley asked, and my body went tight. Those words did things to me they shouldn’t—not with him.
“Yes,” I answered, even though I should have said no.
He fixed a plate for me and brought it over, but none for himself. “Do you feel like you can eat?” I asked.
“I’m not sure about the sauce.”
“Do the pasta with butter and a little bit of salt. We both need ice water. Then join me at the table.”
“Yes, Sir,” he replied with a smile, and I bit back a groan.
“I’m not your Sir.” Another flinch, but it was important he knew that.
Still, Finley did as I said, and a few minutes later we were at the table together, eating. I wasn’t hungry but knew it would hurt him if I didn’t eat, so I did for him.
“What is it you want, Finley?” I asked him when we were finished.
“Like, in life, or what?” He sounded so damn young.
“Yes,” I replied. “Or however you want to answer. If you want it, that’s what I mean.”
He nodded, took a drink, then said, “This. Like…what we did today? I want that. I don’t care about my diploma or college or anything like that. I want this…to like, take care of someone? I watch these videos…”
Porn. Of course it would come back to porn.
“…and I see these relationships where like, one of the guys is the other guy’s boy? And he just like, takes care of him. Of his home and you know…whatever his needs are. He fulfills those, and it gives him something too. I would get something out of that, I think. Something I couldn’t feel anywhere else. It would make me feel complete, or whatever? I don’t know how I know it, but I feel it right here.” He touched his chest. “Deep down. It’s something I know, so don’t tell me it’s stupid or that I’m too young, because I know what I feel, I know who I am.”
It seemed as though now he’d started, he couldn’t stop. I waited as Finley continued. “And then I want someone to take care of me too but in different ways. He can hold me and let me kneel at his feet and put his hands in my hair and pet me. When I do the wrong thing, he’ll punish me, but I know he’ll only do it because it’s what’s right for me. And maybe sometimes I’ll want to hurt, and he’ll do that too. I don’t know for sure if I want that yet, but if I do, he’ll give it to me because I need it. I’ll follow his rules because no one has given me those, and I like…need them or whatever. Because I feel that deep inside too. It doesn’t matter that I’m only nineteen. I know—” When I hold my hand up, he stops.
Damned if my hand wasn’t shaking. I lowered it before he could notice. He would be lovely on his knees. Lovely serving. I’d been with a lot of submissives in my life, too many to count, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen one as open, as innocent and pure and honest as Finley.
And Christ, a part of me wanted to be what he needed. I’d never had a full-time sub. I’d never had a houseboy or someone who was into domestic servitude. No one took care of my needs at home. When I wanted it, I found someone to dominate and fuck, and then I went home. But when I was with a boy, I was always one hundred percent in charge, and hearing what he wanted pricked at my desires in ways I couldn’t explain.
One day, someone would own him the way he needed, and I hoped like hell it was the right person. That he didn’t get taken advantage of because that would be so very, very simple to do.
“Did I do something wrong?” Finley asked.
“No, you didn’t. You were very honest, which was what I asked for. That means you were very good, okay?”
His eyes widened, glowed. It was as if I’d given him the answer to all his problems; as if I’d handed him the world. But the world wasn’t mine to give him. He was young, and I didn’t want anyone full-time. I had too much going on in my own world, and I certainly wasn’t going to let this boy have pieces of me I’d never given to anyone else.
“When you’re finished, I’ll take you home.”
His eyes narrowed. He was angry. I could see it. He had a spark to him that interested me. So submissive and so needy to serve, but I knew that he could, and would, be a brat too.
“I’ll do the dishes, and I’ll be ready.” Finley shoved to his feet. I didn’t call him on the behavior because he wasn’t mine. I also didn’t tell him not to clean up because I knew he needed it.