Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
I was me. The real me. The one who had always lived inside me but had no idea how to break free. Every day I woke up and knew what was expected of me. I made coffee and breakfast. I ate and cleaned and worked out. On certain days I grocery shopped, on others I washed linens, and others I ran errands. My life fit exactly into the schedule Aidan created for me, and that made me feel important.
“But still no sex?” Ian asked.
Okay, so I was happy and fulfilled and all that other stuff minus that one part of it. That was still missing, and the ache was a constant in my bones…in my soul. “No. I haven’t tried to hint or anything. I’ve wanted to. I just hoped it would progress naturally, but it hasn’t. I want to respect him, and I’m scared of pushing him away, but he’s…” God, Aidan was everything. Gorgeous and kind, protective and dominant, and he made me feel as if I really was the precious boy he called me.
I wanted him. I wanted him so badly, sometimes it felt like it would kill me.
“Tell me again why he doesn’t want to fuck you?” Ian asked. He lifted the edge of his Speedo to check his tan line.
“I don’t know. Something about my age and feeling indebted to him and blah, blah, blah. It’s annoying as shit.”
“That’s kind of…sweet.”
“No, it’s not. It’s stupid, and I’m horny, and I so want Aidan to be my first.”
“Sweet virgin Fin.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Try seducing him. You can even do little things like…Oops, did I leave my dildo out where you could find it? Maybe you should use it on me.” A dildo was something I’d purchased about six weeks before. I was horny, damn it.
We both laughed, and it struck me for the millionth time how lucky I was to have him. I was lucky to have both Ian and Aidan. They were the only two people I would ever trust.
Ian set his glass down. “Come on. Let’s swim.” He jumped up, ran to the pool, and leaped in. I was right behind him, and we swam for I didn’t know how long. There was a freedom to living with Aidan and being his boy. I had a job, responsibility, a purpose, but I also had protection and care and what felt like love even though I knew it wasn’t that.
Eventually we got out of the pool and went back to our chairs. I glanced at my phone and saw that Aidan would be home soon. I mentally ran over my checklist, making sure I had all my responsibilities done for the day. It was linen-washing day, and I’d grocery shopped and put together a casserole I only needed to put in the oven.
“I’ll be right back. I need to get dinner on.”
Ian nodded, rolling over to lie on his stomach. I dried off as best as I could, warmed the oven, and put the food in before joining him again. I closed the screen but left the sliding glass door open to get a bit of fresh air and so I could hear the oven timer.
We lay there enjoying the kiss of the warm sun on our skin, and for the first time in my life, things felt almost perfect.
A few minutes later Ian asked, “What about the school thing? Is he still making you get your diploma?”
“Ugh.” I groaned. Besides the no-sex, that was the worst part—the thought of figuring out how many credits I needed to make up and registering to do it, along with actually going to class for what felt like absolutely no reason. “He’s mentioned it a couple of times over the past few months. I know he wants it, but I’m trying to hold off as long as I can. I’m hoping eventually he lets it go. It’s really fucking stupid. Why do I have to get my diploma if I don’t want to?” What if I couldn’t do it?
“So you’re basically disobeying him?”
I shrugged. “I guess, but like I said, I think it’s dumb, so if I don’t have to, I’m not going to do it.”
The sound of the screen door opening made me scramble to sit up. Aidan was there, in jeans and a short-sleeved button-up shirt, his arms crossed and disappointment in his eyes. One look was all it took for me to know he’d heard me and that he was not happy with me.
“Ian…I think it’s time for you to go home. I’ll order a ride for you.” Aidan’s voice was calm, steady as ever. He didn’t look at me, but I silently begged him to. God, I didn’t want to anger him. Not really. More than that, I didn’t want to let him down, but I had. I’d disobeyed him and let him down.