Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 116455 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116455 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
“No,” he croaked. “Never. I support you, Firecracker. I believe you can do anything. I thought I was helping you.”
“If you thought a big corporation from New York was any part of my dream, you were wrong,” I said coldly. “And you sure as hell didn’t know me at all.”
“Flynn. Firecracker—”
“What was it you said last night about your mom thinking she knew what would make you happy better than you did?”
He shut his mouth with a clack, and his eyes squeezed shut. “Fucking Christ,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I’m such an idiot. It’s the thing with the frogs all over again.” He huffed out a humorless laugh. “Pop was right.”
I wrapped my arms more tightly around myself. I didn’t know what he was talking about, and I told myself I didn’t care.
“So… where does this leave us?” JT was hunched in on himself, defeat in every line of his body, his casual confidence erased.
I hated seeing him like that and knowing I had a hand in causing it. Part of me wanted to reach out and comfort him, which was probably a sign I’d reached my limit and then some.
If the whole concept of us had seemed impossible before, it felt doubly so now. I sure as hell couldn’t handle another sad discussion like last night’s, brainstorming ways to string together bits and pieces of our separate lives and call it a relationship. But I also couldn’t handle ending things for good and knowing he’d fuck off to New York again permanently.
My stomach was full of swirling emotions, and I needed to end this conversation before I said or did something I’d regret. I didn’t want any regrets with Jon.
Not this time. Not again.
“It’s hard to think of an ‘us’ right now, Jon,” I admitted. “I’m angry. I’m hurt. And I really need to focus on my own things. Brew Fest. My family. Building something that endures, like you told Dan.”
JT’s eyes narrowed and darkened. He took a step toward me. “Don’t. Please, Flynn, I’m begging you, don’t build those walls between us. Don’t shut me out. Don’t try to make yourself hate me again.”
I held my hand up and took a step back to keep myself from leaning into his arms. “I don’t hate you. I… I don’t think I could if I tried.” It was a simple statement of fact. “But you’re leaving town tomorrow, right?” He blinked, like he’d forgotten that his real life existed, but I didn’t need him to confirm it because I already knew. “You have your own Brew Fest prep to do.”
“I can help you—”
“No.” I exhaled sharply. “The Fortress team needs you. So go back to the city and do your thing, Rainmaker. It’s for the best.”
I couldn’t bring myself to see the effect of my words on his face, so I spun around and headed for the front entrance, grateful for the auto-locking doors that let people out at night but not in. The cleaning would have to wait until tomorrow morning because I didn’t have enough energy for one single minute more.
“Flynn?” JT called from behind me. There was a different quality to his voice—something resolved and determined—that made me pause without turning around. “Tell me this one thing. Do you really think I’d ever try to sabotage you at Brew Fest? That I was hoping you’d lose? That the deal was more important to me than your happiness?”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t have to think—or overthink—about it. The truth was sitting right in the center of my aching chest, like a shiny coin peeking out of a vast pile of rubble. “No,” I admitted. “No, I don’t believe that.”
“Okay.” He sounded relieved. “Okay, then. I can work with that. I’m not giving up on us, Flynn.”
I shook my head. I didn’t know what he was talking about, and I told myself I didn’t care.
Since I figured JT would come looking for me at my place, I only stopped home long enough to grab my keys before hopping in my truck and driving out to the Retreat.
Despite the late hour, McLean seemed to have a sixth sense that I was coming. I barely knocked on the door before he threw it wide, then opened his arms so I could walk straight into his big chest for a hug.
My brother held me tight and let me sob like a fucking baby until I was worn-out and numb.
And then he shoved me into his giant bed, where Lily curled up at my feet, and issued a one-word command.
“Sleep.”
I slept. And when I finally woke up, the world looked a little brighter. At least, that’s what I told myself when my mind wanted nothing more than to pull out every sweet JT memory and fluff them into a giant bed I could curl up in.