Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 72669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
I saw Mia almost instantly.
She’d been waiting for me.
“Let’s do this,” I muttered, drying off my hands with a paper towel that was conveniently at the door’s front entrance.
The metal detectors sang as I started through it, and I sighed.
“Shit,” I said, handing the security guard my purse.
He took it, looked inside, and then handed it back to me. “You can go.”
I nodded and took the purse, following Mia to a door that led to the back of the ER.
She used a code to get in, and pushed the doors open and lead me to the very back of the large nurse’s station towards the individual rooms.
I stuttered to a stop when I saw the sheer amount of firefighters in the room, as well as cops and other medical personnel.
They’d practically taken over the ER.
Navy on navy firefighter uniforms as well as the black on black that the police officers wore, were everywhere.
When I finally got my feet to move once again, I followed Mia’s white t-shirt into the throng of people and stopped again when I saw Booth on the bed.
He was wearing no shirt and the bottom half of his bunker gear.
He looked like he was sleeping or dead.
And my heart stopped.
My worst nightmare flicked through my head.
It had always been my worst nightmare.
Literally.
I never made it through a bad night without having that nightmare.
The one where I saw him lying dead on a gurney much like this one. Eyes closed. Face pale.
Not breathing.
“You okay?” Tai asked, startling me out of my worst dream.
I looked over at him.
His face was covered in soot like all the others were.
It covered his neck, face and arms.
And he smelled like he’d been camped in a car smoking weed all night.
I smiled at him. A small one, not too big.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I lied.
I wasn’t. Not even a little bit.
I’d just now realized what kind of a dumbass I was.
And that wasn’t a nice pill to swallow.
I’d committed the biggest mistake of my life, and I was just now realizing that it wouldn’t have mattered, my reasoning. It would’ve happened, him getting hurt, whether he was home or halfway across the world.
Shit.
I started forward, heart in my throat, and didn’t know what to do or say.
Should I just take him to his house? Where did he live?
Shit.
I couldn’t take him home. I should take him home, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t bear to see the life I should have—would have—had.
Booth’s lids popped open as if he’d sensed me there, and he stared at me with glazed-over eyes.
He was so high.
I could tell.
A giggle slipped free of my mouth as I looked at him.
His lip kicked up in a semblance of a smile, something that broke my heart as well as healed it all at once.
I hadn’t seen him smile at me since the day before he deployed when I was eighteen.
That was a very long time.
I walked up to the side of his bed, not knowing what to say.
‘Hi’ didn’t seem adequate.
But I said it nonetheless.
“Hi,” I said.
He grimaced.
“Hey,” he replied gruffly.
Even more roughly than was his normal voice.
“You need a ride somewhere?” I tried.
His face turned to me, and he stared at me for long moments.
“Take me to your house,” he ordered.
I wasn’t taking him to my house.
I couldn’t.
Right now I was only operating on fumes, and my house was my safe haven, the place where I could go that nobody could get to me. Seeing him in my house, seeing what I could have had would gut me, and my safe haven wouldn’t be so safe anymore.
He couldn’t come to my house.
“I can’t take you to my house,” I said. “I can take you to your parents’ house. Or to your house…with your wife.”
He blinked.
“I don’t want to go home, and my parents are out of town. You’re all there is,” he countered.
“Then we’ll go to your parents’ house,” I informed him. “If they aren’t there, then it won’t matter.”
The doctor came in and halted Booth’s objection.
“You must be Masen,” the doctor said. “Mr. Jones has asked for us to explain his discharge instructions to you so you can take care of him this evening.”
I nodded, even though I didn’t want to.
“He’s also told us you’re familiar with any medical issues that may arise due to his concussion,” the doctor continued.
I nodded once again.
“Yes,” I sighed, resigned.
The next ten minutes were filled with the doctor giving me a briefing on concussions, what I should look for, and when I should bring him back in if he exhibited those certain symptoms.
The entire time Booth’s eyes stayed on me while I tried valiantly to only look at the doctor.
I felt his stare like a caress against my skin, and it was beautiful.
Warming.
Loving, even.
My stomach started to knot.
Married. Married. Married. I chanted to myself.
“Do you have any more questions?” The doctor, whose name I couldn’t pronounce because it was so damn long, hesitated.