Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 46152 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 231(@200wpm)___ 185(@250wpm)___ 154(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46152 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 231(@200wpm)___ 185(@250wpm)___ 154(@300wpm)
She nods because she’s heard this all before. “Right, and why does he do that? Why is he like that?”
I practically rip the napkin in my hand apart. “Because he’s embarrassed by me.”
She juts her chin at me. “Bullshit.”
I throw my hands in the air. “Bullshit? Really? What else could it be? He doesn’t act as if we’re married in front of anyone. No secret touches, no holding hands, nothing. What other reason could there be?”
She leans forward and covers my hand with hers. “I understand how frustrating that is, Nat. Especially since you’re such a touchy-feely person, but have you ever thought that you should ask him?”
My hand fists under hers. This whole thing is embarrassing really. There’s nothing like admitting to your best friends that your husband is embarrassed to be seen with you. “Why would I ask him? It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to be seen with me.”
Her hand tightens on mine. “I think you’re letting your feelings cloud the facts. He loves you, Nat. It’s obvious to anyone that’s been around you that he cares for you. And yeah, maybe he doesn’t show you affection in front of others, but maybe that’s just who he is. There are a lot of people that don’t like public displays of affection.”
I shake my head. “It’s not just the fact he won’t hold my hand, Jilly. He doesn’t want me involved with his family. All the get-togethers, dinners, Ollie’s soccer games, all of it. He doesn’t invite me. Heck, he wasn’t going to invite me to Issi and Lucas’ wedding, but Issi did.”
“Why?”
I pull my hand out from under hers. I’m over this conversation. I expected my friends to be on my side, but Jilly doesn’t seem to see things my way. “Just forget it. Let’s get back to the book.”
She shakes her head. “No, answer me. We’ve talked about this for months, Natalie, and my question is the same. Why? Why would a man that obviously loves you—he would literally give you the world—why would he act like this?”
I suck in a breath and at the same time, try to hold back a sob. “I don’t know. Hell, I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.”
She wraps her hand around my wrist and holds on to me. I lift my eyes from the table in front of me and look at my best friend. I’ve never doubted our friendship. I know she is a good friend, and I know she means well. Just like I know she expects me to answer. “I don’t know.”
She nods her head, and her hand tightens on me. “I know you don’t, honey. You need to talk to him. You need to communicate. And yes, I know you’re not happy, but are you ready to give him up forever without knowing all the facts? Talk to him, tell him how you feel, and see what he has to say.”
I search her eyes. She makes it sound so easy, but can it really be that simple?
But Jilly is not done. “All I’m saying is that he holds the answers, Nat. You need to ask him, and then when you know all the facts, then you make your decisions for the future.”
Jilly gives me hope when for the last few months, I’ve had none. All this time, I thought he wanted to keep our marriage hidden, but maybe there could be another reason. He told me last night that he wasn’t embarrassed by me, but what else could he say? Could it be that simple that I just need to ask him and he could maybe clear it all up with one answer? I’m so lost in thought, I barely hear Jilly until she waves her hand in front of my face. “Yeah?” I murmur.
She gives me a soft smile. “All I’m saying is that before you make a big decision like this, you want to be absolutely sure. Just talk to him. See what he says.”
I nod. “You’re right. Fuck, you’re right, Jilly. I’ll talk to him.” I make the promise to her, but at the same time I’m wondering if I’ll get the chance. I literally told him I wanted a divorce. If he wanted to, he could walk away now without looking back.
I suck in a breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, so this calls for more than a Coke. I’m going to get a shot of tequila. Anyone want one?”
I’m up out of my seat and standing on shaky legs as I look at each one of them. I’m forcing a smile to my face, hoping to hide the pain, and they each nod their head. Jilly pats me on the back. “Go ahead. Catch a breath, go to the bathroom. I’ll grab the drinks.”
I nod a thank you to her and take off. Of course, Jilly knew I needed a little space and time to get myself together. As I walk into the bathroom, I go straight to the mirror and stare at my reflection. Before I can second-guess myself, I open my phone and send a text to Beau. I’m in. Thirty days.