Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 129084 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129084 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
“It’s all I knew of his father that I could give him.”
I return to her, standing just a foot between us. It’s so tempting to hold her, but I’m having a hard time telling where we stand. It’s not together. Not yet at least. And I’m not sure I can give her the reassurance she needs regarding custody. That’s obviously her fear—that I’ll take him away from her. It’s natural to feel that way.
I won’t, but I can’t lie and tell her I don’t want to be in his life. I do. Very much. But that will be part of a bigger conversation, a different mountain to climb on another day. “I always imagined being a part of naming my kid.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t apologize. He has a great name.” An image of my family flashes through my head. How am I going to break this to my family? Telling them is something I can’t take lightly. “My family has this weird tradition with names.”
“What is it?” she asks with the tears dried and the streaks fading. I appreciate her efforts. Without them, I wouldn’t be here.
“We all have water names.”
“Water names? What does that mean?”
Trust takes time, especially when it’s ripped out from under you. I know she has trust issues, and so much more makes sense now, but I still sit, hoping she’ll sit next to me. “They’re bodies of water, or conversely, water-related. My parents’ names are Delta and Port. When they were deciding on names, they got this crazy idea to continue with each of their names. Loch is the oldest. Harbor is the second born. I was a surprise, so they didn’t have time to do more research and didn’t love a lot of the other options.”
She sits beside me, only a few inches left between us. “Noah. Noah’s Ark.”
I grin not only because she’s joining the conversation, but because she’s open to the exchange at all. She doesn’t have to be. Trust. It only takes a seed planted to watch it grow. “Yep, that’s who I was named after.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Did you have twins? Ow—” I’m whacked on the arm but still chuckle. “Bad joke?”
She starts to laugh, and when she smiles, it brightens the room. Maybe I’m imagining that, but I feel the warmth shining on me. “No twins, but Noah has always been one of my favorite names.”
“Oh yeah?” Working through our past and future, we’ll get there, but the reprieve is nice to have in the meantime.
She leans back, resting her head on the cushion. With her eyes redirected to the ceiling, she nods, but then she turns her gaze back on me, and asks, “I remember you telling me your sister’s name is Marina. That’s a lot of water names.”
“It sure is.”
“So that’s a tradition you wanted to carry on?”
Shrugging, I then lie back next to her. “It’s not something I was married to.”
“But you would if you could?”
Rolling my head to face her, I reply, “Sure, but maybe less obvious. He has my name. There’s not much more I can ask for.” I reach out, stopping just shy of touching her leg to rest my hand between us. “I’m more than good.”
“He has more than that.”
She’s grinning like she has another secret. I’m not sure if I should be curious or scared of what’s coming next. “What do you mean?”
“Maxwell.” Liv sits up, angling her knees toward me. When she slides her hand into mine and our fingers fold together, it feels a lot like we’re making a new agreement. The details to be defined at a later date, I’m sure. “The name Maxwell wasn’t just something I liked. I loved the meaning behind it. Strength and courage, which I knew my little guy would need in this world.”
“I like that. Those are admirable traits to possess.” I sit up and bring our hands to my mouth. Holding the back of her hand to my mouth, I kiss once and then again. “He has a good role model in you.” She lifts enough to shift onto my lap. I bring her closer and hold her by the hips. “A lot is coming at us all at once, Liv. Together, we will weather it better than we can alone. Whatever happens, I can promise you that you don’t need to be afraid of me hurting you or Maxwell. I only want what’s best.”
“I don’t know that’s a promise you can keep, Noah. Once you consult a lawyer—”
“I have no intention of contacting a lawyer. We can settle this between the two of us.”
With her arms around me, she rests her head against the top of mine. “Thank you,” she whispers in a staggered breath. Lifting, she caresses my face, then stares into my eyes. I can see the questions and feel her unease right now. We can’t know what the future holds. Tears fill her eyes again when she stares into mine. The only way I know to calm this storm is to assure her that I’m not going anywhere. I lean in and kiss her, promising her everything I can at this moment.