Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 129084 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129084 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
“I’m here,” she whispers as if we’re surrounded by eavesdroppers. She lives alone, so I glance behind me once more to make sure I still am.
The coast is clear. “Am I being too trusting? Should I be worried?”
“If you trust Noah, it’s because he’s proven you can. I think you’re worried about the unknown, which is natural.” There’s a pause, and then she says, “You told him the truth. You told him because you knew it would be best for Maxwell. Focus on that. How it plays out with custody is currently out of your hands.”
Is it out of my hands?
I have no doubt she’ll hire the best lawyers if this ends up in a court battle, but I really hope it doesn’t.
“I have a confession.” Really, I’m just bursting at the seams to tell someone.
“What is it?”
“I slept with him.” I’m met with silence.
“Oh.” Another pause sucks the air out of the conversation. “Well, once won’t do any—”
“A couple of times.” I wobble my head back and forth. “And a few other acts that would fall under the same categories.”
“Oh, um . . . Alright.” She’s flustered and stumbling through her thoughts. Out loud. I wasn’t trying to shock her. I need advice. “Hmm.”
“I’m telling you because I need to share it with someone, Mom. If it’s too much . . .”
“No, it’s not too much. It’s not something I want to think about either, but you’re a woman with needs that should be met. That’s where your father struggled.”
“I hate to be mean, but I don’t think I can handle a conversation about you and Dad having sex.”
“That was the problem. We weren’t having sex.”
La la la la la.
It’s tempting to plug my ears, though I know I’m in the wrong. I’m a grown woman who should be able to talk about these things. It’s just so weird when it comes to my own parents.
She says, “This isn’t something I want to relive. Just know that I understand. You’re twenty-seven. You should have an active sex life, Olivia.”
The woman is gorgeous and funny, endearing and wise beyond her years. I can’t imagine life without her, but I also want her to find happiness as well. “So should you, Mom.”
“Oh, I do,” she replies. Was that a giggle?
“You do? I thought—”
“I don’t need a husband or even a boyfriend, for that matter. I don’t even need a human to have an active sex life—”
“Mom.” I shake my head, needing not to have these images populating my mind.
“I’m just saying that some great products are on the market these days.”
Wait, what? Did she just say . . . oh God. “Okay. I got it.”
“I can send you one of my favorites.”
“I’m good.” Noticing a pigeon on a window ledge across the street, I’m glad for the distraction from this conversation and the other reason is because the coffee’s ready and I need to down a cup. “I’ve got all that covered.”
“And I have a few regulars on speed dial.”
“A few? Mom . . .”
“Sorry, TMI. Let’s get back to you and Noah.”
I almost feel bad for cutting her off, but damn, this is a lot to process about your sweet, innocent mom. Apparently, she’s not so innocent, and I’m kind of proud of her.
Returning to the chair, I wrap my hands around the hot cup. My thoughts are all over the place. As much as it’s been interesting and eye-opening to talk to my mom so openly about our love and lack of love lives, my worries are always nipping at my happiness. “I’m worried that . . .” I want to harness my feelings and turn them into words with meaning. I struggle under the halo of last night and the warmth that’s come over me when I think of Noah. But taking a breath, I then ask, “What if he’s being nice to—”
“You just told me you’re happy. Happy, Olivia,” she reminds me. “You can worry about this to the point of pushing him away, but don’t ignore how he makes you feel. Your intuition matters.”
“What if my intuition is wrong about Noah?”
“Honey, you can run a million what-ifs around your head, but until you two talk, it won’t do you any good.”
I know that’s true, but it won’t change anything until I get answers. I don’t want to be blindsided. We need to get this settled. “I don’t want to lose Maxwell.”
“You won’t, but you may have to offer Maxwell the opportunity to get to know his father alone.”
Maxwell spending time with Noah means I’d be alone as well. I’d miss him so much that my heart aches simply from the thought. “I hate the idea of the alone part.”
“Let’s not get caught up in guessing and focus on what’s real.” I nod, though she can’t see me. “What are you and Maxwell doing today?”