Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 147136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 736(@200wpm)___ 589(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 736(@200wpm)___ 589(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
Shay took a deep breath and continued.
“Marley was born, or Mo as we call her. She’s the prettiest baby ever. Seriously. Full head of blond curls and the biggest blue eyes you’ll ever see, holding so much expression it steals your breath. She looks just like Sadie.”
Kali shifted beside me, and I saw that her attention was now on Nate instead of where it was at the beginning of this story, the table.
Tori was studying Shay as I was, looking sad.
“Nate didn’t know. He was working all the time and doing anything he could to make the money they were losing with Sadie being out on maternity leave. I’m not even sure he noticed Sadie’s absence when she stopped popping in as much, then not at all because he was so busy. We all noticed it but honestly I figured Sadie just wanted her mommy-daughter time and I couldn’t blame her for that. Those baby years are important. But apparently Sadie was in a rough way and no one knew it. She was suffering and she was doing it alone, not confiding in Nate when she should’ve been and then it was too late. He couldn’t help her.”
“What happened?” I asked, my voice sounding tight like I needed to clear my throat.
“He went home after work one day and found Mo asleep in her crib and Sadie in the bathtub with an empty bottle of sleeping pills.”
I clamped a hand over my mouth, my breath bursting warm against my palm.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, cutting my eyes to Nate.
She had killed herself. Nate came home and found his wife dead and their baby girl asleep, completely oblivious to the state of her momma.
Pain circled my heart and folded in on it.
“I hate hearing that story,” Kali declared quietly, picking off chunks of the napkin in her hand. “I miss seeing Sadie around. It feels like yesterday she was showing us all her first ultrasound photo.”
“It’s been almost a year, hasn’t it?” Tori asked.
Shay nodded.
“Next month. I think that’s why he’s been locked in that office more than usual. He’s hurting.”
I looked from Shay back to Nate.
His head was still down, eyes still unfocused while his mind was on something heavy, I’d decided.
“What about Mo? Do you guys get to see her at all?”
“Nate’s mom brings her in sometimes. She watches her while he’s working,” Kali answered. “She still looks just like Sadie.”
“Prettiest baby ever,” Shay professed, smiling gently when she said it.
I couldn’t imagine Nate’s pain and the enormity of the pain Mo would feel when she got old enough to learn about her mother. It was almost too much to even think about. Adding on the pain Sadie no doubt was feeling and feeling it silently, suffering alone and having this beautiful life she created with her while she was suffering from it, most likely not experiencing those mother-daughter moments the way they’re meant to be experienced because she couldn’t let herself experience them; it was all too much sadness.
But Nate, his pain I felt deep and there was no option but to feel it. He was right in front of me.
“Gosh,” I breathed, pulling my eyes back to the girls. “That is such a sad story.”
Tori shot me a look.
“Told you.”
I stuck my tongue out at her.
She slapped the table, declaring enthusiastically, “Subject change!”
Shay made a motion with her hand that she wanted to be the one giving us our next topic of discussion. She looked across the table at me.
“Have you spoken to your husband yet?”
Tori groaned and shoved Shay’s shoulder.
“That is a terrible subject change,” she snapped.
I couldn’t have agreed more.
“We don’t have to talk about him in detail!” Shay argued while leaning closer to Tori. “I was just wondering if he’d done the right thing and reached out to her yet. It’s been, what, three weeks? He can’t call her and see how she’s doing since pulling the rug out?”
Shay looked at me after she was done speaking.
So did everyone else.
I didn’t want to talk about Marcus. I didn’t even want to think about him.
It hurt to do it.
I dropped my eyes to my glass, collecting sugar off the rim with my finger.
“Haven’t heard a peep,” I answered Shay, hearing irritated tongue clicks and a quietly muttered “asshole” I was certain came from Tori.
I lifted my head and looked around at the three of them.
“And I’ve decided I’m not reaching out to him. Ever. I don’t need to talk to Marcus for any reason besides what needs to be done to get this divorce final, and that hassle falls on him. This was his doing. He wanted this, so he can do all the work in getting that shit started if he hasn’t already. I’m not dealing with lawyers and spending my time getting paperwork together or paying costs if there are any. Let him eat it. Three weeks and he doesn’t even reach out once? No.” I shook my head, breathing heavily through my nose. “There is nothing I need to talk to him about anymore. Our finances have always been separate, so that’s not an issue. I took everything I wanted to take when I left so there’s nothing there I need to get from him, and whatever we bought together under the false pretense of sticking through thick and thin, for life, he can keep. I don’t want it. If it’s tied to a memory of him, I don’t want anything to do with it.”