Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83986 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83986 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
He chuckled. “That boss of yours made you a whole list, didn’t he?” I noted that he couldn’t seem to stop smiling, or touching me either. His hands were on my face, in my hair, his legs were holding tight, and his mouth opened on the skin of my throat when he eased me closer.
“Yes, but that’s hardly the point,” I said, lifting up so I could meet his gaze. “How do you remember all those lines if you can’t keep a thought in your head?”
His groan was a good sound.
“So tell me. I want to hear.”
“Fine,” he murmured, patting his chest. “Put your head right here.”
Instead, I pressed my face down into the hollow of his throat. He wrapped me in his arms and hugged me tight.
“Nice to be held,” I said, my words on his skin.
“It’s even better to be the one doing the holding,” he admitted, one of his hands tangling in my hair.
Neither of us said a word for several moments.
“I thought, back then, that I wanted a home I could return to, and that my partner would be there, waiting.”
“That sounds normal.”
“It does, but it also makes for separate lives, people living apart. And I thought that would be the best thing for me, but it’s really not.”
“How so?”
“I don’t want to return. I need to live there too. All the time, except when I’m making movies. And when I am, I want to be visited. I want the connection to stay open, a current running between us.”
“So you didn’t use to need the constant connection?”
“That’s right. I thought I could live my life as I always had, basically unconcerned about my partner, untouched by them except when I was going home.”
“Also, as you said, there were other people in and out of your bed in the interim.”
“Yeah…” He sounded sad.
“So with the one who got away, could either of you have moved at that time in your life? I’m thinking this was before you were a household name?”
He chuckled before rolling me over on my back. “You’re very smart. I hadn’t done the Jack Ryan movie yet, and after that everything took off.”
“And he couldn’t move either?” I asked as he pressed his lips to the side of my neck.
“No,” he answered after a moment, clearly distracted. “Why is this shirt still on?”
“Try and focus,” I teased him.
“I—where is your lube?”
“Where’s yours? I have no doubt you came prepared.”
He sat up then and stared intently into my eyes. “I’m getting the idea you think I’m forever on the prowl.”
“Aren’t you?”
“No.”
“No?” I couldn’t help the snicker that came out. “If I said no to this, which, let’s face it, who would? But if I were a monk or something, you would have looked for someone else while you were here.”
His brows furrowed, and he leaned sideways so he was pressing against my side, his hand on my abdomen. He liked touching me, that was obvious.
“I wouldn’t have, though.”
“And why is that?”
He raked his fingers through his thick hair, clearly reluctant to talk about his love life.
“Listen,” I said softly, sitting up to face him. “I have no problem being another notch in your bedpost, so all this seductive mojo you’ve got going isn’t necessary. You’re you, and anyone would be lucky to be where I am.”
Surprisingly, he got up and started pacing. “But see, that’s not what I want. It shouldn’t just be that, so meaningless.”
It hit me, then, and I grinned widely. “You’re looking for love.”
He threw up his hands as though giving up. The pacing seemed necessary for him to work things out in his head and come to terms with them.
“You’re a romantic.”
“Yes,” he grumbled, sitting down on the end of the bed. “Always have been.”
“How many men have there been?” I asked, crawling over to him and kissing the back of his neck.
“Stop that. We’re having a serious conversation about my stupid heart.”
“It’s not stupid,” I murmured, kissing his shoulder. “But c’mon, gimme a number.”
“A lot,” he said after a moment.
“And the guy who got away, you’re counting him, yeah?”
“Hagen. His name was Hagen.”
“And what happened with him?”
“Oh, he’s married now to the guy who broke his heart but then rode back into town and fixed it.”
“Now that sounds romantic.”
He grunted.
“You could try and win him back now that you’re all grown up.”
Turning, he scowled at me. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Your career is solid now, you don’t have to jump through hoops anymore, take movies you’re not in love with, and you can choose things you know won’t keep you away from the person who’s your home.”
“What do you mean my home?”
“What do you mean what do I mean?” I snapped at him. “That’s what you’re talking about. You don’t want a million fuck buddies anymore; you’re looking for the one who’ll ground you. Isn’t that right?”