Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91182 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91182 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
“You’ve never orgasmed?” he asks incredulously.
“Of course I have, but not by the men I’ve been with. It was always about them. I faked it every time just to quickly end it.” I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment, but Killian isn’t having it because he moves them away. Then, holding onto me, he drags us up the bed. He lays me down next to him and pulls me into his side. I lay my head down on his chest and wrap my arm around his front. He runs his fingers through my hair a few times before they move down to my back. My eyes close as I get lost in the feeling of his touch. I didn’t realize how much I needed this, craved this. To be held and comforted.
And before I can second guess myself, I whisper one last truth. “It’s not really the orgasms that are important,” I admit. “It’s the connection. I just want to feel connected to someone. I’m tired of feeling so alone.”
Fourteen
Killian
Last night with Giselle didn’t exactly go as planned—or maybe it did. I’m not sure what was going through my head when I brought her back to my place. Maybe in the back of my mind I thought I would call her out on her shit and she would open up to me about her money troubles. I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen from there, but never did I imagine that with her legs wrapped around my waist, while hugging me, I would confide in her my deepest secret. I never could’ve predicted she would hug and comfort me while I lost my shit and released all of the built-up guilt I’ve been holding onto for the last decade.
And then, when Giselle in return admitted she hasn’t had been pleasured by a man in years, my first thought was to pull my boxers down her creamy thighs and eat her cunt until she’s screaming my name while she orgasms all over my tongue. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I knew it wasn’t the right time. We were both too raw and emotional. When I pleasure her, I want it to be when she’s of her right mind and not feeling exposed and vulnerable.
“I just want to feel connected to someone. I’m tired of feeling so alone.”
While Giselle and I are different in many ways, we’re actually similar in other ways. I understand exactly where Giselle is coming from. While I’ve spent years keeping women at arm’s length, I have longed to have a deeper connection with someone. I was so stuck in my way of not having casual sex until I was in a serious relationship, I never even unlocked the door to let a woman try to step through. I was afraid of their ill intentions, their hidden motives. Opening up to Giselle last night felt completely foreign, but at the same time it felt like it connected us.
Gently moving her body off mine, I get out of bed and go to the kitchen to start the coffee. While it’s brewing, I hear the sound of feet padding across my wood floor. Giselle appears in the doorway, still wearing my shirt and boxers. Her hair is messy from sleep, her face free of all makeup, and she looks gorgeous as hell. She grants me a shy, nervous smile. I know she wasn’t drunk last night, but my guess is she’s wondering if I regret everything we talked about. Needing her to know I don’t regret anything, I grin back. Her smile widens and then she throws her head back with a laugh, and fuck if it isn’t the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.
“What?” I question.
“We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad,” she says through a fit of giggles, and the melodic sound has me grinning hard.
“An Alice in Wonderland quote?” I ask, even though I already know it is. After she told me to read the book, I googled ‘Alice in Wonderland quotes,’ and came across several. Who knew the author of children’s books could be so poetic?
“Yeah.” She nods with a smile.
I pull a mug down from the cabinet and hand it to her. She goes to take it, but I don’t let go. Instead, I use her grip on it to pull her closer to me. Her body presses against mine, and I tilt my chin down to kiss her. Only she turns her head to the side at the last second and my lips land on her cheek. Without letting go of her, I whisper, “I’m afraid we are mad. But I’ll tell you a secret. All of the best people are.” I have no idea if the quote is from the book or the movie. It’s one of the ones I found when I googled, but I’m sure she’ll tell me.