Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 41038 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 205(@200wpm)___ 164(@250wpm)___ 137(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41038 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 205(@200wpm)___ 164(@250wpm)___ 137(@300wpm)
But even if he had been, that didn’t mean she would have stayed.
Big was even worse now when it came to his dirty ways with women. Well, when he could get it up for them. Those times were far and few between, and that pissed him off even more.
Claire had ruined him, but he’d never fucking admit that shit to anyone.
He blamed it on the little blonde staring back at him from the picture.
The photo may be weathered and worn from being in his wallet since he’d taken it out many times during these couple of years, but her eyes were still wide and crystal blue. She looked innocent, but he knew how she really was.
She was a woman after his heart, a female who craved dirty sex like he did.
“You fucking ruined me, Claire,” he gritted out, feeling his anger grow.
Claire was anything but fragile. Before she’d decided she was too good for the club, she was just as filthy as he was, fucking him whenever and wherever he saw fit.
Maybe if he would have been a man, be the man his reputation dictated, and admitted he loved her, she would still be here.
Claire was never just a piece of ass on the side to him. She was so much more, but he’d been such a bastard back then that he ruined it all.
Shoving the picture back in his wallet, he finished off the joint. He was hard as hell now, but he wasn’t going to jerk off. The discomfort would be a reminder of what he wasn’t ever going to have again.
He wanted to get good and trashed, wanted to be a man and not think about “the one who got away”. Big couldn’t complain, had no right to, in fact.
He hadn’t had the balls to tell her what she meant to him back then, and her wanting to be happy wasn’t a sin.
What was a fucking sin was the fact he was in this room alone, thinking about a girl he used to love, would have killed for, when there was a sweet-ass MC party just a few rooms down.
He set the roach on the ashtray on the dresser, made sure his zipper was all the way up, and headed out. He might be high but he wasn’t so drunk that he couldn’t throw some more shots back.
He wasn’t about to end the night without having the liquid kind of intoxication going on, the kind that had him blacking out and not thinking about the dark, depressing shit.
Getting trashed would help him get rid of his demons.
2
The trip back to Desertion had been long, or maybe her mind had been so full of her own thoughts, her own worries, that she hadn’t been able to allow herself to relax?
She looked out the window, but it was pitch-black outside. She would be entering Desertion soon, and the name of the town alone should have reminded her that she should have just stayed where she was.
But even thinking that, knowing what would be waiting in that clubhouse, wouldn’t have had Claire turning tail and going back.
She breathed out and rested her head back on the seat, focusing ahead of her. The two bags she’d packed with the important shit she owned sat in the back seat.
Even though she had been away for two years, living her own life, Claire hadn’t accumulated anything of importance in the form of personal possessions.
A lot of her stuff was still in a storage locker in Desertion, a part of her unwilling to clear it out. Maybe she’d always known she’d be back, that she couldn’t quite leave any of this behind?
She spent another twenty minutes driving in silence before the sign that stated she was entering town came into view. She drove to the club, but the closest she could park was down the street where she pulled up to the curb.
Cutting the engine, she grabbed her bags and got out of the car, standing on the side of the road for a moment. This was the place she’d run away from two years before, and all she could feel was this heaviness settle inside of her.
Mayhem, her twin, would welcome her—she knew that—as would the other guys in the club. But it was one biker in particular, one Patch who had the worry, the emotions she’d buried long ago, rising up.
She’d tried to forget about him, but that had been stupid on her part. No one, especially not her, given how she felt for him, could just forget about Big.
Claire knew going to the Bleeding Mayhem MC compound was going to end up being a big mistake, maybe the second biggest mistake of her life, but she didn’t have anywhere else to turn.
With her bags in hand, she felt her nerves start to tell her, to scream at her, to just deal with her shit by herself and go in the other direction.