Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 72308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Frozen on the spot, I stared at his outline, the color of his maroon shirt, his impressive height. Then I started to smell pine and body soap…sweat and sex in the sheets. Flashbacks hit me unexpectedly, and I shuffled through all of them as I stood there.
“Gonna let me in?”
I took a breath before I opened the door. It was the first time I’d seen him in a week. Mocha-brown eyes. A hard jawline covered with a shadow. His thick arms stretching the fabric of his shirt. His hands were in his pockets, and he stood out in the cold January day, small clouds of vapor coming from his nose.
Paralyzed, all I could do was stare.
My eyes drank him in. I did the same.
After what felt like an eternity, he moved toward me. “Can we talk inside?” He knew I was alone. Had watched my apartment, made sure the kids were dropped off at school and the nanny was elsewhere.
I nodded then stepped aside.
I shut the door and sealed the cold air outside.
He walked into the living room then pulled his hands from his pockets. His eyes fixed on me, and now that we were in private, his stare was intense. It was the look he used to give me when I walked in the door, just seconds before he ravished me against the closest wall he could find.
I wasn’t wearing makeup and my hair was thrown in a bun, but he looked at me like I was a stripper about to hit the pole. The longer he stared, the more self-conscious I became. My arms locked over my chest, and I averted my gaze. To stare at this powerful man and know he would never be mine…it was so hard. “I hope you have something important to say…to torture me like this.”
“I’m not trying to torture you.”
My eyes returned to his. “I’m doing everything I possibly can to move on. I stay busy so I don’t think of you, and when I do think of you, I force myself to think about something else. I don’t call, I don’t text, because it’s just too hard. So, if you’re here to do anything other than tell me you love me and you want to try…then you’re a fucking asshole.”
He dropped his chin, like those words had enough punch to make him sick.
That was my answer. “This is so fucked up.”
He raised his chin and drew close. “I didn’t like the way we left things—”
“And you think we’re gonna end things better this time?” My voice went from a whisper to an explosion because he’d barged back into my life just to make me miserable. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I said some harsh things—”
“That you meant. It’s fine, Grave. You spoke your truth, and I accept that truth. Now get the fuck out of here—and don’t come back.” I couldn’t believe the audacity, to come back here when he knew how heartbroken I was. “I’m not sorry for breaking our rules. I’m not sorry for telling you I love you. I wish I’d done it sooner and got out quicker.”
He closed his eyes for a moment.
“What do you want?” I whispered.
“You aren’t the only one who’s devastated—”
“Fuck you.” I turned away, getting some distance between us, getting that goddamn smell out of my nose. “Get out of my house.”
“I mean it—”
“If you meant it, we would be together right now. You’d be on your fucking knees, begging me to take you back.” I kept my back to him. “But you’re here because…you didn’t like the way we ended things.” I rolled my eyes, holding on to my anger so it would keep the tears at bay.
“I don’t want to end up like my brother.”
It was such an unexpected thing to say that I turned to look at him, unsure what that meant or why he’d said it.
“I know how he feels about Camille, but he’s fucked her over too many times. Maybe they’ll work it out, but it’ll probably never be the same. That trust is irrevocably broken. I don’t want to end up like that…with you.”
My arms tightened over my chest, and I tried to read his features like words. “What does that mean?”
A long, hard stare ensued. He studied my face with shifting eyes, considering the words that formed in his head before he said them. “I only do monogamy if I’m in love—and I’m in love with you.”
My fingers dug into my arms, letting those words bounce off my invisible armor. He may have said the words I wanted to hear, but that didn’t mean he would give me what I wanted. “If that were true, you wouldn’t have dumped me.”
“My feelings don’t change our situation. You’re a single mother to two kids, and I’m not looking to be a stepfather. Saying it back wouldn’t have helped the situation. Saying it first…wouldn’t have helped either.”