Total pages in book: 192
Estimated words: 189782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 949(@200wpm)___ 759(@250wpm)___ 633(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 189782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 949(@200wpm)___ 759(@250wpm)___ 633(@300wpm)
I don’t plan on crying.
“This is a safe space.” Doyle reclines in the armchair, his posture inviting and open, his notepad resting on his thigh. “You can share anything with me.”
“I know.”
“If you’re not ready to talk about what happened, that’s okay, too. We can discuss anything you want.”
He only knows what the news is reporting. It’s up to me to talk about Denver’s abuse, Wolf’s death, the plane crash, Monty’s betrayal, my polyamorous relationship with Leo and Kody…all of it. Or none of it.
Sharing those personal things with him would be different than discussing it with detectives and reporters. Outside of this room, the information would be twisted and used against me.
In here, it would be confidential and used to help me heal.
Doyle watches me patiently, his dark hair tousled across his forehead, his hazel eyes softening with professional concern.
I forgot how handsome he is close up. His chiseled jawline and firm lips give him a hard edge, but he has the eyes of an empath, sensitive and gentle, creating an impression of boyish innocence. I know better. He’s a decade older than me.
“Frankie.” The deep tenor of his voice swirls through me, calming my nerves. “What’s on your mind?”
Slowly, I breathe in, then out, my thoughts flitting to the morning I was abducted. Monty needs to talk about that morning as much as I do. If I open the dialogue with Doyle, maybe Monty will do the same, and we can move on with our separate lives.
“I had a miscarriage.” My gaze shifts to the window for a moment before settling back on Doyle. “I was pregnant with Monty’s baby when I was abducted.”
His expression remains neutral, encouraging me to continue.
I walk through the fight about the pregnancy, my decision to leave, the kidnapping, my attempt to escape on the snow machine, and the miscarriage. I include all the relevant details without mentioning Wolf. Making his existence known would open a conversation I’m not ready to have. Not in this first session.
“Have you forgiven Monty for the way he handled the pregnancy?”
“Yes. I think so. But I haven’t forgiven him for the other thing.”
“What other thing?”
“He fucked another woman while I was being held captive by his brother.”
“Oh.” Doyle straightens, his throat bobbing with a swallow. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want condolences. Monty thought I left him, and he tried to move on. He doesn’t deserve all the blame.”
“Why do you say that?”
I murdered his brother and fell in love with his only surviving relatives. All this animosity, guilt, and back-and-forth emotion is a reaction to the pain inflicted by both Denver and Monty.
Since I’m not ready to share any of that, I settle on, “I’m not perfect.”
“Yet you’re angry with him.” He writes something in his notes.
“Of course, I’m fucking angry. Blinding, raving mad. But it goes beyond that. He’s distrustful of everyone, making me distrust him even more. He questions everyone’s motives, including yours.”
“Mine?”
“Yeah.”
Thanks to Monty’s paranoia, I’m questioning Doyle’s motives, too. It’s maddening.
“He thinks everyone is out to get me,” I say. “But what about him? Isn’t he out to get me?”
“Is he?”
“I don’t know. There’s so much to unpack, and I’m losing the energy and will to make the effort.”
“I understand your feelings, and your concerns are justified. Couples often struggle after traumatic events. It’s not uncommon for one partner to become overprotective, thinking they’re doing what’s best. It can create tension and lead to misunderstanding and resentment.”
“This is more than that.”
I’m in love with two other men.
“Have you talked to him about how you’re feeling?”
“Yeah. He listens. He seems more attentive and compromising now than before…the trauma.”
“It sounds like his actions come from a place of fear and insecurity. He’s afraid of losing you, but his methods are pushing you away.”
“He’s already lost me.”
Even as I say that, I know it’s not true.
I’m trying so hard to remain angry with him because if I’m not angry, what am I? If he’s not out to hurt me, what is he?
He’s a threat to my relationship with Leo and Kody, that’s what.
But he’s not a threat to me. I can’t believe the worst in him. I just can’t.
“Okay.” Doyle lifts his pen from the paper and meets my eyes without judgment. “Sometimes the best thing for a relationship is to step back. Give each other space to heal individually before you can heal together.”
“We’re not intimate. We don’t share a bed. Not since my kidnapping. I’ve been sleeping in the guest house. Except the night of my panic attack, I slept across the hall from him in case I got triggered again.”
“Do you want to talk about that? The PTSD episode?”
“I don’t remember it. Is that normal?”
“Yes, dissociation is a common symptom of PTSD.”
“When Monty called you, did he tell you what happened during the episode?”
“Yes.” His expression softens.