Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
friends.”
Not that they ’d ever officially been m ore than friends any way.
“Oh. Okay, if that’s what y ou want.” Mac’s face was im passive, but
his voice caught. He cleared his throat. “It’s probably for the best.”
Jez nodded, his throat felt swollen and strange. “So, uh… I’m gonna
go.”
Mac lifted his hand as though he was going to stop him , but then he
clenched his fist and dropped it back to the bed. “See y ou later, then.”
“Yeah. See y a.”
Jez’s ey es prickled as he closed Mac’s bedroom door behind him .
What the hell? He’d never felt this sad about breaking up with a girlfriend,
and he and Mac had never even given what they had a nam e.
Fuck. It really hurt.
On Sunday Jez hid out in his bedroom for m ost of the day, only
venturing out to use the bathroom a couple of tim es. He was shocked at
how m iserable he felt. He tried to focus on study ing, but he was
distracted, going over the conversations they ’d had that m orning and
questioning whether he’d done the right thing. But surely if Mac had
wanted to carry on seeing—aka fucking—Jez, he would have put up m ore
of a fight? And he hadn’t protested. So, Jez m ust have m ade the right
decision in ending it. It was better to get out now before Mac worm ed his
way any deeper under Jez’s skin.
Finally in the afternoon, Jez was driven out of his room by hunger.
He was in a state, still wearing y esterday ’s clothes with his hair sticking
out in all directions, but he didn’t care. He fixed som e food—a tin of
spaghetti hoops on toast—and took it through to the living room , where he
found Mac, Shawn, and Mike play ing Call of Duty. Mike was the only one
who greeted him when he cam e in. Jez took his plate to the table in the
window and focused on his food so that he didn’t have to look at any of
them .
The atm osphere in the room seem ed norm al. Mac was m ay be a bit
quieter than usual. Mike and Shawn were trash-talking each other
constantly, but occasionally Mac would chip in. Jez wished he knew what
the hell was going on in his head. He risked a glance at Mac and his heart
twisted at the sight of him . As though he could read Jez’s m ind, Mac
m oved his ey es to m eet Jez’s. Their gazes locked for a m om ent, and
som ething passed over Mac’s face that m atched the regret thickening Jez’s
throat, m aking it hard for him to swallow his m outhful of food.
Jez was the one to look away first. He forced him self to fork m ore
food into his m outh, even though he could barely taste it.
Chapter Fourteen
The next week passed in a slow, lonely blur for Jez. He wasn’t sure
whether he was avoiding Mac or Mac was avoiding him —or a m ay be bit
of both—but the end result was the sam e. They hardly saw each other,
despite sharing a house and being on the sam e course. It was am azing
how easy it was to keep out of som eone’s way if y ou set y our m ind to it.
The city was swept by awful winter storm s that lasted day s. So,
apart from scurry ing to and from uni with his head down against the rain
and gales, Jez spent m ost of his tim e holed up in his room wallowing in
self-pity and listening to the windows rattle and the rain lash against them .
He lost him self in reading whenever he could. He started with book
one of the Harry Potter series; they ’d been his go-to com fort books since
he was a kid. He figured that if it took him a couple of weeks to reread
them all, he m ight be alm ost over Mac by the tim e he’d finished. Curled
up in bed, with a battered copy of one of his old favourites in his hand, Jez
could escape from his crappy reality for a few hours.
Jez m issed Mac so m uch m ore than he would have expected. There
was a m assive, Mac-shaped hole in his heart, and Jez hadn’t even realised
Mac had filled that space until it—whatever it was—was over. Now they
weren’t hanging out any m ore, he realised how m uch tim e they ’d spent
together. Study ing on his own was lonely, and lectures were boring when
he didn’t have Mac to nudge and pass notes to. Even chilling out at hom e
was crap without Mac for com pany.
He m issed Mac phy sically as well as em otionally. He dream ed
about him at night: about the strength of his body and the gentleness of his
hands, about the sweet intensity of his kisses. Afterwards, Jez woke up