Total pages in book: 25
Estimated words: 24174 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 121(@200wpm)___ 97(@250wpm)___ 81(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 24174 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 121(@200wpm)___ 97(@250wpm)___ 81(@300wpm)
I miss her, dammit.
That I do so makes me feel like a fool, but I don't give a damn. I know she's a stranger still, but she's already in my blood, and she's all I could think about the past fucking week.
"Did you really make it clear to her that it's impossible for the two of you to have a relationship?"
"I told her to forget about me."
"And?"
I look at the other man testily. "And what?"
Julian's eyes bore into mine. "You obviously didn't tell her the most important bit."
"I don't owe her anything—-"
"But you also knew she might not look at you the same way again if you told her you were engaged."
"I'm fucking betrothed, not engaged."
"That's the same thing—-"
"It isn't, dammit. Engagement is a personal choice, and my betrothal..."
"Go on," Julian taunts. "What's the difference then?"
Fuck.
FUCK.
FUCK.
My fucking betrothal is what it means to choose duty over personal interests, but it's also God giving me a dose of my own fucking medicine, for all the times I've given my soldiers hell when they were struggling to make the right choice.
"Why don't you just end it?" Julian asks quietly.
"Which one?" I ask bitterly. "My obsession with her, which has no cure? Or my betrothal, which is key to ensuring Huzna's ability to protect itself in future wars?"
"You're the only one who can answer that. But if you marry someone you don't love," my friend warns, "you could end up breaking another girl's heart."
JULIAN DRIVES US TO Paradijs when our stalking session concludes at the sight of her leaving the cafe and cycling away.
I miss her, dammit.
But this just has to be a fucking obsession, and nothing else.
Fleur meets with us at the lobby, and Julian's wife insists I join them for lunch at the club. Most people underestimate Fleur because of her reputation for being a social butterfly, but she's long mastered the art of using this misconception to her advantage.
She's extremely good at charming information out of people, and even though I'm already on my guard, I somehow still end up telling her everything.
Dammit.
"I'm so sorry you're faced with a choice like this," Fleur says. "But if it means anything, I have this friend who married a guy knowing that he still loved someone else. Long story short, he realized that he no longer loved the other woman, so..."
"You believe I may eventually feel the same way for my betrothed."
"It's a possibility at least, don't you think?"
"He wouldn't know how to answer that," Julian drawls, "since he hasn't met her."
Fleur's eyes widen. "Seriously?"
"I've been...busy," I say stiffly.
"You can't have been too busy," Julian points out, "since you also managed to 'obsess' over another girl in your spare time."
"Fuck off."
But of course, this only has my friend smirking, since me losing my temper means he's made his point.
"You can always check her social media," Julian's wife suggests. "At least you'd know what she looks like without having to meet her in person."
I make the right noises for Fleur's benefit, but the truth is, I already know I won't do anything of the sort.
Ever since meeting her, it's become impossible for me to even think about my betrothal without feeling I'm committing fucking adultery. I don't even know her name, but I already feel like looking up my own betrothed on social media feels like I'm betraying her.
Karma fucking bites indeed, and I now know that I'm just as weak, just as fucking human as everyone else. The only reason I had it so easy when choosing duty over personal interest was because none of the other things had mattered as much.
None of them had mattered the way she mattered, and now that I've learned my fucking lesson—-
You made Your point, God.
You made it loud and clear, so can You just show me what's the right thing to do now?
Chapter Four
Ember Hallman might be the girlfriend of Sheikh Ilyas Al-Masri in secret, but she was also officially employed by the royal family of Huzna, and it was the latter persona that was about to have a heart attack.
Today was supposed to be a dry run for next month's launch of The Huznan Way, a program that was months in the making and involved carefully selected individuals who would then share their specialized knowledge of Huznan culture, arts, and technology.
THW was all about showcasing everything the kingdom had to offer and proving to the world once and for all that it was not a nation of barbarians. And it truly wasn't, but how could she expect their guests to believe this when His Highness, Sheikh Rashad Al-Masri, had just sent away another woman in tears?
And that was already the sixth...in the past hour alone!
She would've expected such actions from her boss-slash-secret-boyfriend Ilyas, who had always been the hotheaded and impatient sort. Maybe even Khadem, too, whose rare but violent displays of temper often resulted in his enemies being rushed to E.R. - if they were lucky enough to be alive, that was.