Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 54028 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 270(@200wpm)___ 216(@250wpm)___ 180(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54028 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 270(@200wpm)___ 216(@250wpm)___ 180(@300wpm)
Those were my thoughts.
“Let’s go find Noa’s stage,” I suggested, automatically grabbing his hand.
We’d been told not to bring coats. Despite the cold, the walking stretch where the festival was held was narrow and covered by some sort of roof. Outdoor seating areas and vendors lined the sides, each location with heaters. And then there were the pubs and clubs that hosted the shows.
The outdoor part of the festival was free to attend, and the concert venues charged a fee. Apparently, Noa’s band was one of three opening acts for a major punk rock band, so admission to that club was higher.
I was excited to see him behind the drums.
“What was the name of the club?” he asked.
“The Aurora Fail, which…is an interesting name.” I spotted its purple neon sign up ahead and pointed toward it. “That should be it. Tate and Kingsley are already there.”
So were KC, Noa’s Daddy Dom, Cameron, Noa’s boyfriend, and Lucian, Noa’s Master.
As Jack threaded our fingers together, I couldn’t help but think back on the first time I’d met Noa. He’d assisted Kingsley and Tate with a humiliation scene they’d planned for me. And later that night, I’d stumbled upon the boy out on the patio when I hadn’t been able to sleep.
It seemed like half a lifetime ago, when, in reality, it was a matter of weeks.
My biggest worry had been entering a community where everyone appeared to be dead set on either finding love or nurturing the love they had. Everywhere I went, during my online tour of the community, I’d spotted love and affection. Tate and Kingsley. River, Reese, and Shay. Colt, Kit, and Lucas. Noa with his three partners all living together. And last I heard, Corey, a very fun and sweet brat, had shacked up with Master Greer and two others who were new in the community.
I could go on and on. But that night, when Noa and I chatted on the patio, he’d left a mark. I tried to keep his voice in my head, reminding me not to overthink too much—or to complicate what needn’t be difficult.
In a way, the world I left behind not long ago had been extremely simple. Men married women. Children were born. Period.
Breaking free from that had left its mark too, however. It’d made me swear off commitments and strings and attachments and… And so on. So when I’d seen all the relationships flourishing in this new community I was joining, I’d become hesitant. I’d thought perhaps Mclean House wasn’t for me. Because I didn’t want any of that.
Except, as Jack gave my hand a squeeze, I admitted to myself that something was changing.
Jack and I hadn’t discussed the future whatsoever. Nothing beyond this week while he was in town. We’d agreed to casual fun and playtime. We’d left it there. And yet, we had breakfast together. We went out to dinner. Dates. We held hands. He was in charge. It felt so natural to ask for his permission. We cuddled and hugged and kissed.
When I’d admitted to Noa that I was wary of attachments and restricting myself, he’d said, “Instead of worrying about boundaries to distance yourself from things you don’t want, focus on what you do want and just do that.”
Well, what if I wanted more of what I already had with Jack? What if I wanted to continue this, what if I wanted to keep taking him out for dates, what if I wanted to…
Like a flip of a switch, I decided I couldn’t handle my inner turmoil on my own anymore. I ushered Jack to the side of a building where we wouldn’t be in the way, and I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him.
“I need help,” I confessed. “My head is an absolute mess.”
He inched back and peered up at me with concern, while his arms went around my middle. “What kind of mess?”
“About this—us. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know what we’re doing—it just feels like I’m fooling myself.” I was struck by the truth of my own admission, and it left my stomach in knots. “I’ve wasted so many years, and I was so good at denying my nature. I’m terrified I’m doing it again.”
He didn’t say anything for a beat. He just studied my face and maybe thought of his response.
“We’re not behaving like two men only having kinky fun,” I said.
He sighed quietly and shifted my hands to his lower back instead. “No, we’re not.” Then he stood on his toes and locked his arms around my neck. “We’re still only scratching the surface. Are you sure you want answers?”
I frowned. Why wouldn’t I want answers?
“Of course I do. I don’t exactly enjoy walking around confused.”
He smiled a little. “Fair enough. I’ll let you in on a little secret, Uncle Franklin.” He kissed me softly. “I’m gonna own every part of you one day. I’m gonna take everything.”